Loving A Woman – By Thomas Koester

“Do I love you because you’re beautiful, Or are you beautiful because I love you?” ~ Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II, “Cinderella”

Every man has a responsibility and privilege to “unearth” and discover the beauty within his wife, girlfriend or daughter. He can either bring it to the surface, cherish and celebrate it, or he can ignore it, leaving it buried.

Men, we will be held to account and will not escape God’s notice for every wrinkle and stain on the hearts of our wives and daughters. Their hearts surpasses our careers, our man-toys and sport statistics.

I was speaking with my son, Jordan one day about women and dating. We talked about how some women are too willing to give themselves to men and too many men are predatory. I’ll never forget my son’s answer to a question that I had asked him:

What do you do, son, when you find yourself in a situation where a woman throws herself at you?

“Dad, he replied, I will not take what dosen’t belong to me.”

I sat there, momentarily shocked and pleasantly surprised by his answer. His response was far beyond how most men, young or old would’ve answered that question.

My son understands that a real man gives, and does not take from a woman, no matter how beautiful or how needy she may be.

Nature teaches us that a man gives from his masculine strength, and a woman is a “receiver” from within her feminine soul — from her feminine “frailty.” This, in no wise suggests that the feminine soul is weak. Her feminine frailty is in her curvaceous form; the delicacy of her frame and the softness of her skin. A real woman is ferociously feminine and powerful in her own ways.

But, her feminine “frailty” goes deeper than her sexuality, her true frailty lies deep within her heart and soul, where her sensitive nature lives; where her desire for deep, meaningful relationship resides. Where her dreams live.

When a man takes from a woman, he robs her of all her treasures. He takes and takes, eventually leaving her empty. Leaving her feeling used. Feeling dirty. She’ll feel like an overdrawn bank account, with a guy cashing checks that don’t belong to him.

One of the saddest commentaries about our culture is that many women have abandoned the beauty and frailty of femininity. They have instead shutdown their hearts and souls in order to compete with men’s desires to consume flesh and pleasure. Romance has been replaced with conquest for both many men and women. When a man ceases to be the giver and a woman ceases to be the receiver, both devolve into takers.

How can you have a lasting, meaningful relationship when both partners are taking from each other?

A man is made to protect and to give from his masculine strength. While he too desires to be loved, his heart is after a woman’s respect. Being loved by a woman may be easy for many men, but to be liked; to be admired by her comes with certain sacrifice and humility.

A woman, though powerful in her own way, is made to receive, to be loved; to be fought for, cherished and wanted. She doesn’t want to be the center of a man’s world — she wants to share the world with her man. She doesn’t want to be the adventure — she desires to be adventurous with him.

When you give to a woman; when you actually love a woman, you make her beautiful on the inside and radiant on the outside.

Tell your wive, your girlfriend, or daughter that you love them in a thousand different ways, and if necessary use words.

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