I'm passionate about writing and encouraging people. I want the whole world to know about the Father-heart of God and His unstoppable love for those who believe in His Son, Jesus.
A life where there’s no believin’ is a life where there’s no livin’.
Have you noticed lately that the things worth believin in are quickly disappearing?
Sadly, many marriages and romances are vanishing. I’m not talking about Hollywood’s shallow relationships but marriages of our friends and family members. I think marriages fail because people, once in love, stopped believin in the important things.
It’s not about the type of groom we were during the wedding. That’s the easy part. That day was fanciful, romantic, and ceremonial. It’s the kind of man that we’ve become in the crucible of marriage, and while the ceremony has long since faded, romance and passion are still alive and well. That’s the sign of a good marriage and of a good man. We need more good men and healthy marriages these days.
A good man brings out the best in his woman. Likewise, a good woman does the same for her man. A marriage becomes ugly when we forget those things.
I love the movie “Secondhand Lions,” starring Robert Duvall. It’s a movie rich with quotable dialog.
“… True love never dies. Doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. A man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believin in.”
True love never dies. It’s certainly true of our faith, isn’t it? Christ’s love for his Bride will never die, neither his love for you, if you believe in those things, and in Him, because, “those things are worth believin in.”
As a matter of fact, it’s Christ in us, which makes us into a good man and a good woman. And, the trinity of Jesus, a man, and a woman together as one creates an unbeatable marriage.
The reason why so many good marriages fail is when one or both walk away from Jesus as the center of their individual lives and the center of their marriage. The reason why the world hates marriage is because it is the physical manifestation of the Holy Trinity. It is a Living example of Christ loving the Church and giving up His life for her, His Bride.
“I’m Hub McCann. I’ve fought in two World Wars and countless smaller ones on three continents. I led thousands of men into battle with everything from horses and swords to artillery and tanks. I’ve seen the headwaters of the Nile, and tribes of natives no white man had ever seen before. I’ve won and lost a dozen fortunes, KILLED MANY MEN and loved only one woman with a passion a FLEA like you could never begin to understand. That’s who I am!” The movie, “Second Hand Lions”
Who are you?
What kind of Man are you?
What kind of woman are you?
When you have no firm identity, you have only weakness against the things out to destroy your love for your wife or husband. You have very little strength to fight the enemy of your relationship with God.
So goes your relationship with God, so goes everything else!
A good and lasting marriage vitally depends on your relationship to God through Jesus Christ. Remember? It’s the three-fold cord of Christ Jesus, a man, and a woman. That’s your superpower against the enemy of your marriage.
Don’t settle for the passion of a flea. Have the passion of a ferocious lover, willing to surrender and sacrifice your life for the one you love and for God, the Lover of your soul.
I know that so many of you, even my close friends, have given up on their marriages and God. You’ve walked away searching for meaning, significance, and identity. You’ll not find it in another lover if you never had it with the one you left.
You’ll only find meaning, significance, and identity in God. Not in sex, romance, and one-nighters. Turn back to Him, and turn back to your First Love.
“These are the things worth believin in.”
So, don’t be a flea brain! Believe in the things worth believin in.
Over the past three decades, I have been curious to learn about the wounds I’ve suffered during my youth and formative years.
It’s not what will happen to you that will change your life, I spoke out one night of lecturing, but rather, what happened long ago has already changed your life.
The words we speak or shout at our children forever become their inner voice. It changes a child’s psyche, distorting their inner soul and eating away their future. Harsh words from mom and dad have tremendous prophetic meaning to a child.
The words we speak or shout at our children forever become their inner voice.
And because of those words, you’ve been living a different trajectory. You’re living out a life that you were not meant to live. You’re living a cursed life.
While young and innocent, most of us knowingly or perhaps unknowingly have made life-changing vows or agreements while amid abuse, whether emotional, psychological, or physical. While eliciting powerful emotions of hate, anger, bitterness, or rage, these past hurts or wounds can conjure dark agreements with the Father of Lies.
John 8:44 says that all lies come from the Father of Lies, who is the Devil.
The devil’s strategy is to get us to make these dark vows and live from them. He uses the most important people in our lives to originate these lies. Some of these lies are:
You’re no good. You’re unloveable. You’re too ugly. You’re too fat. You’re too skinny. You’re too stupid. You’re a loser. No one will ever want you. You’ll always be a failure, etc.
And one that I heard all my life growing up was:
“What’s wrong with you?!?”
The list can be pretty long, and the voices of others soon become our voices, echoing self-deprecating and ugly curses over our hearts and minds—eating away at our future.
Unknowingly, our parents can speak the devil’s curses and lies over us at a time when we were mythical, fanciful, and magical of heart. Because children can believe the unbelievable, curses and lies become part of their identity and belief system. They end up living them out like prophecies written in ancient manuscripts. These “prophecies” direct their lives, careers, and relationships.
To bring healing to these past wounds and nullify the agreements is a path that only a few have taken. Even though freedom and wholeness are possible, many of us prefer to live in the seclusion and cover of darkness and duplicity. We’ve come too far or lived too long with our false persona; the mere thought of dismissing or exposing our poser-selves is too frightening.
So, we pose, playing hide and seek at work, home, and church. The longer we play this nightmarish game, the more hardened and sadistic we become to our wounded hearts and souls.
This process continues until we become addicted to sex, drugs, alcohol, and lies. Or, perhaps our drug of choice is our reputation or religiosity. Maybe we’ve masqueraded for so long that we’re lost even to ourselves!
The stress of chronic fakery is as deadly as a heart attack and a silent killer, just as hypertension and high blood pressure can kill you. Why, we’re simply a walking time bomb of contradictions, lies, and hypocrisies.
Oh, my dear friend, there is such hope, so I am writing to you. Please read on.
Isaiah has said, “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.” Isaiah 5:20.
Jesus said, “… And if the light you think you have is darkness, how deep that darkness is!” Matthew 6:23.
I know all about this. This was and is my life. It is both my past and my journey. There is a redeemer and a healer. He is pursuing you, not to judge you, but to redeem, heal, and restore you to who you were meant to be!
Your True Father wants you back. As the late Brennen Manning has so often quoted:
“God accepts you as you are and not as you should be. Because you’re never going to be as you should be.”
The Good News is that it’s God’s responsibility to transform you as you should be.
Transformation is not your wife’s job, boss’s, or best friend’s — it’s not your pastor’s or priest’s job or any self-help guru’s to change you. It is the job of a loving God, who’s waiting for you to call out to him; “Abba,” “Papa,” or “Daddy,” or even “Father-God.”
The only way to the Father is through the Son. And it is the Son, Jesus Christ, who’s taken upon himself all the curses and dark vows ever spoken in any language and tongue against us, so that we may be loved rather than destroyed.
Do you see this? God can make your life awesome, if you allow him to take away all the crap, hurts, wounds, and pain inside of you.
Oh, and it can be taken away! All the guilt, shame, and self-loathing—all the self-hatred and hatred of others can be removed. All the self-doubts and doubting of others, all the lost trust of self and others, and the cynical and diabolic distrust and suspicion can, and will be gone!
Just say this prayer out loud, or even in a whisper:
Dear Jesus Christ, I stand before you, exposed, scared, ashamed, and afraid. I have lived a sinful life and have hurt myself and others. I confess to you my wrongdoings, my mistakes, and my faults. I acknowledge my need for forgiveness from you and my need to forgive others. I also forgive myself for the harm that I’ve done to me. I believe in your Word of Truth and that you lived a sinless life, died on a cross of suffering because you took upon yourself all my sin, all the curses spoken over me, and all my wrongdoings. You were buried in a tomb and were raised to life on the third day, making it possible for me to be forgiven and to have a new life, new hope, and a future. I believe these things in my heart, and I confess and acknowledge them with my mouth to be saved and redeemed. I am now your true son or daughter, and I can now call you my Abba-Father as you have put your Spirit into my transformed and purified heart forever and ever. Thank you for my salvation and healing in the Name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Now, live a new life and understand that you now belong to God as his child, and you’ve become his responsibility. He is no dead-beat-dad. He is a Mighty God, an Everlasting Father, a Wonderful Counselor, and the Prince of Peace. All authority is upon his shoulders, and His Kingdom shall know no end.
Welcome home to a loving God and an incredible Savior!
The danger is to do nothing. Doing nothing is to remain in darkness and under curses and false agreements. Do something with your new life and truly live! No longer agree with the dark voices in the back of your mind. Instead, reject their curses and evil thoughts in the Name and Authority of Jesus Christ!
Give the Father of Lies an Eviction Notice and cancel all your curses!
Toni and I often talk about life changes, boundaries, and priorities. But family always tops our list.
Watching our children grow up, getting married, and seeing them succeed in their careers is what brings us joy. But what’s much more important is their relationships with each other and their commitment to our family and to the families they’re building.
The older I get, inching closer to the end of life, the irony is that it forces you to live a more meaningful life now, or at least it should. To wait until retirement to prioritize family is a sad mistake that I think too many make.
We do need to die, in some respects, to those things which promote death and live more towards those things which promote life. It’s like choosing between bacon, which I love, but it fosters death, and beansprouts, which I hate but promote life. However, living life on hospital food is certainly no fun either. So, we strive for a balance. And, this is what my brush with death has taught me.
The movie “Click,” with Adam Sandler, has some great truths running through it, along with its great humor and satire.
Morty (The Angel of Death), played by Christopher Walken, tells Michael Newman, played by Adam Sandler, who’s fast-forwarding his way through life with an enchanted TV clicker:
Morty remarks:
“He’s always chasing the pot of gold, but when he gets there, at the end of the day, it’s just cornflakes.”
Towards the end of the movie (WARNING SPOILER ALERT), Michael finally gets it and cries out, in his throes of death:
Michael Newman: [dying] “Family, family… … FAMILY COMES FIRST.”
Isn’t it so true? Family should come first, and I can promise, in the very moment when life is quickly or slowly draining from your body, it’s family that first comes to your mind…
… I want to see our two grandchildren, with Josh and Jenny, grow up.
Oh my goodness, it’s Tessa’s 24th birthday, and I will miss it!
Tears began rolling down my face as I saw those moments of life fast-forwarding before me. That was my wake-up call at 2:30 in the morning, Friday, October 11, 2013, as I sat in triage at the Sonora Adventist Hospital all alone, and when the reality of “heart attack” was suggested by the ER physician.
I wanted to exchange “I love you” with my wife and children again! I wanted to see who’d become my son, Jordan’s wife, and welcome her into our family.
I confess that not one of my projects, clients, or deadlines entered my mind while facing the prospect of a heart attack. Not one more contract signing or one more insurance settlement, which I have to face, is most likely what put me in the hospital in the first place.
As it turned out, it wasn’t a heart attack, but me, attacking my heart because of too many “yeses” and not enough “nos.” My physician told me that too much stress could cause cardiac arrest.
I need to say a serious “YES” to life and a meaningful “NO” to death. It’s the wrong choices in those subtle moments that can soon pile up into a health crisis. It is all those times when the tyranny of less critical things overrules the more essential things of life.
“Let your yes mean yes, and your no mean no; anything more than that is from the Evil One.” Matthew 5:37 – Jesus of Nazareth
I don’t think striving to love your family correctly, keeping your promises, being home on time for dinner, or kissing your wife and kids goodbye in the morning has put anybody into the hospital.
Proverbs 4:23 says it best: “Guard your heart more than anything else because the source of life flows from it.”
It’s the redeemed heart where God lives that is our source of life. This, too, is where our families live and dwell. This is also where the love of our life resides. Work should never enter our hearts the way God and our loved ones do, for it will always push God, family, and our loved ones out! Guard your heart more than anything else! Not your reputation, ego, pride, or being right—but your HEART!
Our misplaced priorities will always attack what truly matters to our hearts and, if ignored, may eventually cause you to attack your heart, like I did.
So, my new motto for life:
“Family, family… … FAMILY COMES FIRST!”
In this, we find all the treasures of life, and it’s those relationships and memories that are worth living and fighting for.
After all, everything else, “at the end of the day, is just cornflakes!”
Doubt is the gravitational force that keeps you from piercing through the atmosphere of the impossible.
Doubt is a killer of dreams and all that gives your life meaning.
Your faith is the rocket fuel that allows you to violate the forces of nature, doubt, and even physics.
Faith destroys doubt despite fear.
Faith in the ability and will of God can only win when you reject all other options. The more primary your faith becomes, the more God can do through your faith.
Are you asking God how? Author John Eldredge has written that “the question how?” is faithless. The question “how” can cause a failure in launching your faith and your ability to break through the gravitational forces of doubt…
… God wants your immediate obedience because this shows how much you trust him for all the unseen details.
When you break the gravitational forces of doubt, angels gather in excited anticipation, and demons become unsettled and defeated.
Now, do what you’ve been called to do. Sometimes, the equipping and provisions are developed during the journey, and this, too, will cause your faith to soar.
What are you waiting for?
You already have permission from God’s Word to do the impossible. When you step out to do the impossible, God shows himself in each impossible step. His miracles become the breadcrumbs for others to follow and a testimonial to your faith and to God’s faithfulness.
Doubt is a killer of trust and belief. Doubt keeps your relationships shallow and creates distance between you, God, and eternity.
You will never enjoy life to the fullest or know the depth of God until your trust becomes bigger than your doubt.
Break through the gravitational force of doubt. Until you do, you’ll never know your true purpose in life—You’ll never see the impossible happen.
When Toni and I were called to do the impossible, the doubters came out of the woodwork! Not because they were afraid for us but because they were afraid of us. Doubters love doubters, but those who break free from the gravitational force of doubt are a threat to their excuses.
Many years ago, August 4, 1984, to be exact; God called Toni and I to Youth With A Mission (YWAM). We needed $4,500.00 tuition for the Discipleship Training School and traveling money from California to the city of Saint John, New Brunswick, Canada, some 3,500 mile distance.
We embarked on our cross-country journey with our two small children, Josh and Jordan. Toni and I had only $300.00 cash and a gas and oil guzzling, 1973 Chevy station wagon. Needless to say, we were over $5,000.00 short. Yet, we truly believed that God would provide.
On our way to Canada, and after driving all night, the following morning, an 18-wheeler hit our car clocked by a Nevada State Trooper doing 90 miles per hour! The truck burst into flames on impact, skidding 600 feet before it exploded, catapulting debris 100 feet in the air! The impact to our Chevy station wagon thrusted us while inside our large vehicle, up the steep embankment, some thirty feet!
The truck driver jumped out safely, seconds before his rigg exploded! Later, the State Trooper told us that the truck driver had dosed off, which was why he collided into our car. Miraculously, none of us were seriously hurt, even though our Chevy station wagon was totaled. Our trip to Canada appeared to be cut short.
I put my family up in a Motel 6 in Elko Nevada, using part of the $300.00 we had started out with to cover the hotel expense. Yes, my wife and I were confused and dismayed, but soon experienced God’s peace over the crisis.
Within 24 hours of the accident, we received a knock on our hotel room door. It was an insurance adjuster, representing the trucking company responsible for the accident.
The adjuster wrote Toni and I a check for $25,000.00! At that time, it was more money than I had ever held or seen! Way more than enough for our YWAM tuition and traveling expenses!
Since our car was totaled, we took a bus ride to Salt Lake, Utah, to eventually catch a flight. While staying at another hotel, It was the next morning that God took me to a passage of Scripture:
“Therefore this is what the Sovereign LORD says: Since you have forgotten me and turned your back on me, you must bear the consequences…’ — Ezekiel 23:35
This verse popped up three times within 24 hours! It took me a while, but I began to understand what God was saying. Because we had received such a large sum of money that our faith and trust shifted, ever so slightly, from God to the money. In other words, we put our trust in the gift and not the Giver.
Later that morning, I lost my wallet with all the money in it! That Ezekiel verse kept echoing in my mind. Fortunately, I had kept part of the $25,000 settlement in the form of a certified check for $4,500.00, the rest in cash. But the certified check was also in my wallet!
You see, it is so easy and subtle to shift our trust and focus in God to other things. Because God loves us and that he’s a good and faithful Father, he won’t leave us in our sins. He corrects every son and daughter he loves.
Two weeks after we had arrived in Quebec, Canada, the Salt Lake Police Department in Utah sent me a letter, asking me to call or write back and describe the wallet’s contents. I want you to know that I didn’t have time to file a lost wallet report, and nothing in my wallet could’ve led the police to our temporary stop in Quebec. I still have this letter!
It was an absolute miracle that the Salt Lake Police Department found Toni and I while staying on a dairy farm in Quebec, Canada! I still, to this day, do not know how they found us!
Everything was still there in my wallet, except the $20,500.00 cash. Fortunately for us, the Canadian exchange rate in 1984 was 130%. Turning that certified check from $4,500.00 to $5,850.00! Because we had repented and adjusted our hearts, God gave us back just enough. As a matter of fact, because of God’s faithfulness, we were the only students who paid the required tuition in a lump sum!
When God calls us to obedience, he also provides the essentials. For us, his essentials came after each stage of obedience. The miracles were His way of rewarding our faith. Just like a father rewarding his son for doing a good job—God delights in our obedience!
I want you to know that when God calls a man, our response is critical. If we ignore His purpose for our lives, He sees this as rebellion—as stubbornness, which, God can be quick to show His displeasure. Just like He did for me, when I shifted my focus to money and away from Him.
Author and speaker John Eldredge has written that God wants you and me to become His “intimate ally.” He invites you and me to join Him in an adventure—a mission, if you will—a divine purpose that He uniquely planned for us. His mission is so critical for us that He planned it in every detail before He laid the foundations of the earth!
Dudes, did you just hear what I said?
Whether your name is John, Gary, David, or Steve, God thought of you, planned for you, and created a unique purpose for you outside of space, matter, and before time began! Let that sink in for just a moment—you matter so much to God, that you were, and are, in His thoughts, before He created the world and before you were even a twinkle in you parent’s hopes and dreams!
What will you do with this information? Don’t you want to connect with God’s mission for your life and His glory?
I can promise you this; when you do discover God’s divine purpose for your life, it will blow your mind so powerfully that your only response is to weep, tears of deep satisfaction and humility!
That’s what happened to me, I know God wants it to happen for you, too.
When I was twenty-one, my father-in-law, Gary Waltz, took me out to lunch to depart some fatherly wisdom into me, as I was about to become a father. One of the things he spoke to me didn’t make any sense at the time. He said, “Tom, you may never become a good speaker, but you will become a great writer.” By the way, I also became a public speaker!
Honestly, being a speaker or a writer wasn’t even on my radar. I was about to become a father, and that in itself was terrifying enough!
So, in 1981, my father-in-law spoke over my future, and in 2006, over twenty-five years later, it became true! Let’s take a look at a passage in Romans:
“As the Scriptures say, “I have made you a father of many nations.” This is true before God, the one Abraham believed—the God who gives life to the dead and speaks of things that don’t yet exist as if they are real.” Romans 4:17
God used my father-in-law to plant a seed of mission and purpose into my heart and soul. This mission was planned by God, our Creator, before He created our world!
So, back to the year 2006, around Spring time…
… I was about 46 years old when I had met a few people at a ministerial conference. I was there because my brother-in-law, Dwayne DeFount, known by most of you; he and I had started a men’s ministry titled Call To Courage. It was for that reason I was invited.
One of the individuals I had met was an editor of a bi-monthly publication titled America’s Good News, newspaper. We discussed nothing more than brief pleasantries and answered a few questions about our new men’s ministry.
A few days later, I received an unexpected call from a staff person from the newspaper. They invited me to become a columnist and to join the newspaper as a regular writer! I was shocked! I spoke to no one about writing, nor was it on my mind! I acted like I knew what all this meant. The staff-person explained what type and size font to use, how many words to include in each article, and the submission deadlines. Then the call ended.
As I hung up my phone, I placed my face into my hands and burst into tears! Tears, not of fear or sadness, but tears from an unexplored depth within my heart and soul! Those tears were of great humility and of purposeful fulfillment.
God had united His divine purpose and mission, for which He had planned before space, matter, and time existed, to be His writer! Now, do you see why it was so important for my father-in-law to plant God’s seed of mission and purpose into my life, so many years, prior? My father-in-law didn’t have a clue what and why he said that I was to become a writer, but God did.
Remember Romans 4:17?
“… Abraham believed—the God who gives life to the dead and speaks of things that don’t yet exist as if they are real.”
That is exactly what God did to me. He spoke those “things that were not yet, as if they are real!”
And this is why I’m here, speaking with you young men and even the older men here today. God has planned a mission or missions for you, too. I know this as I know the sun will rise in the East and settle in the West.
No man here today, in this place, at this moment and time is missionless or without divine purpose. As a matter of theological fact, you being here tonight was so ordered by God! This message was crafted, especially for you! You were and are in the mind and heart of God before He spoke the world into existence. In His timing, the seed He planted into the depths of your heart and soul is either being watered or harvested in you this night.
God longs for you to join Him in His adventurous mission for your life and for you to become His trusted and intimate ally. God trains the stouthearted during the journey. He looks for men, like you, who’ll not ask the faithless question about how? but will be brave enough to ask, when?
When God? I am willing. I know you are able. Prepare me as you have done with the men of Scripture. So that one day you will say to me, “… we’ll done my good and faithful servant.”
Oh, and remember to never trust the gift more than the Giver! Amen
“Be careful that no one fails to get God’s grace. Be careful that no one loses their faith and becomes like a bitter weed growing among you. Someone like that can ruin your whole group.” —Hebrews 12:15 (ERV)
A simple yet profound question from a friend has stayed with me:
“Tom, are you bitter or better?”
Life’s trials will come, but our choice determines our sense of peace. Bitterness isolates; betterness unites. By embracing God’s redemptive grace and forgiving others, we unlock a life of freedom, love, and meaningful relationships.
We are all confronted with hurt and pain from others. The choice to become bitter or better is available to all of us. The choice always comes down to two letters, the letter i or the e, b(i)tter or b(e)tter.
Bitterness is a collection of wrongs done by others, causing emotional constipation, psychological disfigurement, and spiritual disconnection from God and others.
The Holy Spirit wants to move us away from bitterness and leads us towards betterment. That is what God’s grace means here—the empowerment to avoid bitterness.
Matter of fact, the verse from Hebrews warns us to be careful that no one fails to receive God’s grace and that no one loses their faith. In other words, we need to watch each others back, rather than plunging knives into them.
Bitterness is the absence of God’s grace, as it displaces his presence, his wisdom, and conviction of the Holy Spirit. A bitter person is always looking to recruit people into their cesspool of bitter complaints. If you join them you’ll get drawn into their emotional quicksand with no one to rescue you!
We become bitter only when we reject God’s grace whispered to us by the Holy Spirit, and when we follow and listen to bitter people. Bitterness is a contagion; it is contracted through casual gossip and always corrupts the mind before it rots the soul. Bitterness has destroyed marriages, families, businesses, and especially churches.
Stay with God’s Word and his distinct and clear voice. Obey the Holy Spirit and become better. If not, you’ll destroy your faith, and walk away from God and the people who truly love you!
Even if you are bitter, you can become better. According to Hebrews 12:15, the antidote against bitterness is ensuring that not one person is missing out from God’s grace. Doing that leaves little time and opportunity for bitterness to take root.
When you stab yourself and others with bitterness, you also forfeit God’s grace that could be yours.
People will love a better you, but bitterness will drive even your closest friends away. Bitterness is a pill, whereby its side effect causes loneliness and detachment. Not only between those who love you, but even within yourself. Your bitterness makes you dangerous—a danger to yourself and others.
Bitterness grows within your heart and soul, like a destructive and evasive tree root. It enters into areas it doesn’t belong, causing emotional disfigurment, and psychological damage. But its damage is reversible. There is hope and healing!
Do you want to live a better life?
Then forgive the offense of others, and you’ll live a bitter free life.
I know—I know, you’ve been terribly hurt or offended. But your bitterness puts you in competition with God. You’re actually saying, “I know better than God,” and therefore you feel justified to condemn. That’s pretty tragic, don’t you think?
But the longer you hold onto bitterness, the more impossible it is for you to forgive. The longer you wait to forgive those who’ve hurt you the further away God’s grace becomes.
I don’t want you to miss out on God’s grace, I want you free and full of life, just like you used to be. I want you to find your faith again in God and to enjoy his presence in your soul.
I want you to love and to be loved again. I want you to stop the cruelty to your heart and soul!
Don’t you see?
Bitterness is not the cure—it’s a poison! The real cure may seem impossible, but it’s the only cure that will set you free and put you on the road to recovery.
The only cure to bitterness is forgiveness. Forgiveness is even more powerful if you were to lead in it. I promise that if you do, you’ll be right as rain and feeling better and not bitter.
It’s those forgotten little memories that can change everything!
Early in 1998, my brother called and told me that my dad was dying of cancer and that dad was asking for me.
When I heard this, I was very upset. Not that my father was dying, mind you, but that he’d asked for me. I needed him all my life, and now, he’s asking for me?
“Tell Dad I’m not coming!” I replied.
I have four brothers and a sister, and they all called me, urging me to visit Dad. A week or so went by, and I finally caved into the pressure.
I first visited my dad in the Contra Costa County Hospital, as the VA in Martinez, California, was short on beds. There, he lay in a bed surrounded by adjustable rails. My younger brother, John, and my mother were present.
My mom pulled me aside to tell me the seriousness of Dad’s esophageal cancer. She said, “It doesn’t look good, I’ve researched the prognosis, and he doesn’t have much time left.” By the time I had visited my father, he’d already been battered by chemotherapy and every other treatment.
The cancer had permanently closed up his esophagus, and he could no longer swallow but was fed through a feeding tube, which was surgically inserted through the side of his abdomen and directly into his stomach. My father was so frightened; I had never seen him so fragile and helpless.
Since things did not look good for my dad, I called one of my pastors from our church in Danville, California, called East Bay Fellowship, which I was attending with my wife and kids. I asked if Pastor Allan Shrewsbury could come by and pray over my father in the hope that it would give him some comfort.
Pastor Allan quickly arrived, praying with my dad and confirming my father’s faith and trust in Jesus Christ as his Savior.
It was getting late, and we began to ready ourselves to leave when I noticed tears filling my father’s eyes, along with the room filling with a sense of heaviness. It seemed as though this might be our last goodbye. I think the feeling of; “he may not make it through the night” hit all of us at the same time.
Compassion began to rise within my heart. I leaned over his bedrail and gently kissed my father’s unshaven face. His prickly whiskers caused my lips to tingle. My brother John leaned in and kissed our dad, as did my mom, and then we all tried to convince and reassure him that he would be fine as we slowly left the room.
As John and I walked out together towards the parking lot, my lips still tingling, I said:
“John, there is something strangely familiar about kissing dad.” I continued:
“My lips—they’re still tingling!”
John responded:
“What’s up with you, Tom? Don’t you remember when we were little kids, we’d line up in front of dad’s favorite chair and kiss him goodnight on his cheek, and he’d say with a smile,
’… Don’t let the bedbugs bite!’”
All of a sudden, good memories came flooding into my mind. That gentle kiss on my father’s unshaven face was a key to my dungeon of despair and loneliness. All my years of anger, bitterness, and hatred; all my doubts and unforgiveness, all swallowed up from the tingly whiskers of my father’s unshaven face!
After that moment, I couldn’t wait to see my father. I saw him over the next several months as often as I could.
Several weeks before my dad passed away, a nurse came into his hospital room, asking:
“Who is your executor and healthcare director?”
My father lifted his feeble arm and pointed in my direction. I turned to see if one of my two older brothers was behind me, but there was no one.
For some, this would have been an unwelcome appointment, a burden, but for me, it meant I had my father’s complete and utter trust and respect. The significance of my dad’s appointment was a paradigm shift for me, possibly one of my most life-affirming events.
Later, I learned that my father had consulted with my mother about whom he should appoint as Trustee of his estate and healthcare. My mother agreed with my dad on his final choice. My sister, Laurie, was also named co-trustee. Simply amazing!
A few weeks later, my dad’s condition was worsening. His organs were beginning to show signs of shutting down. At this point, my siblings and I would trade off, spending the night with Dad alone.
Finally, it was my turn. It was October 7, 1998. I arrived shortly after the dinner hour. A nurse brought in a cot with a blanket and a pillow for me to sleep on. My dad and I talked for quite a while, mostly about politics, which was my dad’s favorite topic. Soon, it was lights out, which never happens in a hospital.
As I lay there, realizing the significance of this moment with my dad, I knew if I didn’t say what was indeed on my heart now, that this moment would be lost forever. You see, my father had never told me that he loved me. I was thirty-nine years old, and my dad was about to turn sixty-nine the next day. I wanted so much to hear those words from him; no, I needed to hear those words from him—something in me was guiding me and granting me the courage to say what I needed to say:
“Dad?”
“Yes, son?” he replied
Dad … I love you!” I said cautiously.
Only mere seconds passed by, but it felt like years.
“… I love you too, son,” Dad replied.
I exchanged “I love you” with my dad for what seemed like all night long! I said those precious and life-giving words, which he echoed back:
“I love you too, son.”
All my hate and anger against my dad had washed away, and now for good! I heard the three most important words every son or daughter needs to hear:
“I love you, son!”
“Look, I am sending you the prophet Elijah before the great and dreadful day of the LORD arrives. His preaching will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers. Otherwise, I will come and strike the land with a curse.” — Malachi 4: 5-6
The days of the “curse” were finally over for me. For a greater spirit than Elijah had entered that hospital room that night. The Spirit of the Living God had softened the hearts of father and son, and the mess I had made of my life suddenly became beautiful!
“His wrath, you see, is fleeting, but His grace lasts a lifetime. The deepest pains may linger through the night, but joy greets the soul with the smile of morning.” — Psalms 30:5
My dad, while broken with cancer, poured into me so much life and hope, and, in such a short time! The man whom I had despised all of my life was my dad, with whom I just fell in love but who is now leaving.
The morning came, with it, a smile and a “Happy Birthday, Dad!”
It was October 8, 1998, and my father wanted to get cleaned up for his Birthday. He said:
“Tom, get my shaving bag, it’s over there, in that cabinet.”
“Here it is, Dad,” I replied.
“Okay, get my Electric Shave lotion and my razor out,” my dad directed, and then he asked:
“Son, will you shave my face?”
This may sound silly, but this was the most intimate moment I’ve ever had with my father. The whiskers that tingled my lips and softened the hardness of my heart, the mouth that finally spoke: “I love you too, son,” was the face I was about to care for and shave.
“The deepest pains may linger through the night, but joy greets the soul with the smile of morning.”
… and I shaved my father’s face.
That is why I would not change a single moment of my life. The pain is swallowed up in the sweetness of heartfelt forgiveness and the “I love yous.” For what had become broken has now been given, and the mess of my life has now become beautiful!
Four days later, on October 12, 1998, my father passed away. At his right-hand side, I stood a restored and beloved son, loved and approved. As life was quickly draining from my dad, he looked up towards the ceiling, letting out his final breath; he smiled, his heartbeat stopped, and we wept loudly in the grief of our great loss! I then reached over his body and closed my father’s eyes.
He died my hero triumphantly and bravely; he faced death and passed from this life into the heart of God.
“Death swallowed by triumphant Life! Who got the last word? Oh, Death, who’s afraid of you now?” – I Corinthians 15:55
While this was both a painful and magical time for me, these events with my father were a new beginning and a paradigm shift for my present and future.
I can honestly say that God used the final moments of my father’s life to make me into a better man, a restored son, and a better father.
Letting my anger for my father go allowed love to come bursting in. Becoming my father’s beloved son made it possible for me to believe I could be God’s beloved son, too.
Good night. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bedbugs bite. I’ll see you in heaven. I love you, dad!
Don’t be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. – Apostle Paul
The years 2024 and 2025 are promised to be filled with unprecedented crisis and political and social upheaval such as this country has not witnessed. How will you stand during such infamous days?
Picture our nation’s birth pangs and struggle during its war for independence of 1775 through 1783. Remember America’s Civil War of 1861 through 1865. Recall America’s Great Depression of 1929 through 1939 and two World Wars, Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan. In spite of all these calamities and crises, our nation still stood its ground and overcame.
No, these historic events didn’t happen in the space of time of your favorite sitcom or blockbuster movie. These struggles took years and even decades to reach their climatic ends. All of these events caused an incalculable loss of life, loss of comfort, ease, and prosperity. But, still, America overcame.
How about today, tomorrow, and next year?
Will you be an overcomer or be overcome with fear, anxiety, and panic?
It is likely that as many watchers, prognosticators, pundits, and forecasters have predicted, we’re in for the greatest economic and societal crash of all times. Economists and financial experts that accurately predicted the Great Recession of 2007 through 2009 are predicting financial crises exponentially greater than the Great Depression of the late Twenties and Thirties of the twentieth-century.
I’ll ask again, how will you stand in such perilous days ahead?
Is your trust in government, politicians, police agencies, the FBI, CIA, Home Land Security, and our borders?
Tens of thousands of Americans in North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, and Florida have recently learned in the aftermath of Hurricane Helene that FEMA was late to the seen, ill prepared, and unfunded.
Hasn’t all of these institutions failed us with broken promises, broken policies, bad operators, and bad agencies? Do you sense, as many people do, that our once trusted institutions have become weaponized?
If all hell breaks loose, where will you go, and to whom will you trust?
Now, not later is the time to ask yourself, am I an overcomer, or will I be easily overcome by chaos?
I’m not trying to scare you, but to prepare you! I’m reminding you that all we once placed our faith and confidence in is gone. Yes, you heard me, it’s all gone! We’re all on our own!
Just look at our nation’s largest cities in red and blue states. New York, Detroit, Chicago, Memphis, Dallas, Huston, San Francisco, and Oakland, just to name a few. How about all those smash-and-grabs? They have now become crash-and-grabs, using stolen vehicles to crash open storefronts, allowing not just a few looters but mobs of them in and out in a flash!
We’re intrigued by watching movies displaying crazed dystopian societies, with brazing lawlessness, cold-blooded murder, mayhem, and continuous looting.
Folks, we’re living in it!
If the recent debate between Biden and Trump wasn’t unsettling, how about the Whitehouse’s cover up of President Biden’s stage five dementia? Did you enjoy being lied to by all mainstream news outlets?
It’s here, not just in Hollywood’s latest blockbuster, but in many of our communities, cites, schools, and shopping centers. You don’t see it because you’ve been enchanted by MSM; lying politicians, bureaucrats, and technocrats.
I believe that Hollywood has purposely desensitized us by its endless portrayal of apocalyptic and dystopian doom. You see, Hollywood’s programming has programmed the masses to accept chaos as near normal. It’s an age-old tactic called, “normalcy bias”
“Normalcy bias, or normality bias, is a cognitive bias which leads people to disbelieve or minimize threat warnings. Consequently, individuals underestimate the likelihood of a disaster, when it might affect them, and its potential adverse effects. The normalcy bias causes many people to prepare inadequately for natural disasters, market crashes, and calamities caused by human error. About 80% of people reportedly display normalcy bias during a disaster.” Source: Wikipedia
I want you to understand that the surest way to defeat an overcomer is to normalize calamity, i.e., lull you into unpreparedness, which, in turn, sets you up to be easily defeated.
And that is exactly where we are today!
We have been propagandized and programmed through an elaborate PSYOP.
“Psychological warfare involves the planned use of propaganda and other psychological operations to influence the opinions, emotions, attitudes, and behavior of opposition groups.” Source: RAND Corporation
If you’re a true conservative, patriot, Bible believing, child-rearing, faithful American, black, white, red, or yellow, a certified “basket of deplorables,” then you’re their “opposition group.”
We’ve all seen what public pandemonium looks like, either on the streets during riots or in blockbuster movies. No one really stands out, as everyone is in a state of shock, and all are overcome by panic and fear.
You see? Unpreparedness robs you of the mentality and fortitude of an overcomer.
Do you know how Jesus Christ withstood all the torture and the ignominious death on the cross?
He was prepared!
Jesus was zeroed in and fully cognitive of what he was to suffer. The Holy Scriptures says that Jesus set his face like a flint. Which, means, Jesus could not be detoured. This is because he had the spirit of the Overcomer before the ordeal of the cross.
“For the Lord God will help me, therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed.” – Isaiah 50:7
My friends, we must be strong in the power of God’s might; understanding the days in which we live; be rock-solid in our faith and with full determination, preparing ourselves to pierce through the darkness!
If you understand anything, understand the utmost confidence that Jesus Christ had in God the Father to vindicate and honor him in his death and resurrection.
That, my dear, brothers and sisters is the Overcomer’s spirit that you must believe and secure deep within your heart and soul, now, and not when all hell breaks loose here in America!
“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” – Hebrews 12:2
And that my friend is how you become an overcomer and stand during the evil days ahead! Your family is going to need you to show them how and all those that have allowed themselves to be programmed by the programmers.
“Let your light shine like that in the sight of men. Let them see the good things you do and praise your Father in Heaven.” – Matthew 5:16
“And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, They did not love their lives so much that they were afraid of death.” – Revelations 12:11
The world needs more overcomers to help those who’ll soon be overcome with grief and despair.
We can’t live a happy life with an unforgiving soul and a stubborn heart.
When we refuse to forgive ourselves and others, we split our identity. One part loaths the offender, and the part hates self. It is the inner voice of self hatred and toxic unforgivness, which curses the outer self of life and the inner self of peace.
I know you know what I’m saying. I’m not trying to gulit you, but to help you!
I don’t want you to end up with two personalities in one body. That’s a horrible way to live!
One world is real, full of life, hope, and dreams. The other is false — filled with lies, masks, and illusions. Sure, you can survive in your false world, but you were made for so much more than surviving…
… and I think you know that!
You’ve felt it your entire life, that there’s something wrong. You don’t know what it is—you feel trapped inside—imprisoned by offense. Maybe you feel like a hostage, only it’s you that holds the key to your own prison cell.
In the movie The Matrix, Neo asks Morpheus a question:
“If you’re killed in the matrix, you die here?”
Morpheus:
“The body can not live without the mind.”
The book of James puts it this way:
“The splinter of a divided mind shatters your compass and leaves you dizzy and confused.” —James 1:8
Do not yield to thoughts of condemnation for others and hatred of self, for the end of such thoughts are self-destruction and death. You need to yield to, and desire wisdom from God, who understands both the body and the mind. But if you reject his wisdom and truth, your inner thoughts, no matter how untrue and false, will become reality. For either the wisdom from God and the belief of self-hatred are both initiated by faith. You see, faith activates the power of both truth and lies.
If you believe in the truth and wisdom from God, you will live and thrive. Conversely, if you believe in self-hatred and unforgivness, you will become lifeless and die. For the body obeys the mind, and a double minded person is unstable, confused, and lost.
I don’t want you lost—I want you found and freed!
The standard of God’s Word, Wisdom, and Truth never changes, so anchor all your thoughts, fears, and doubts on him, and you will find your way again.
This very moment, you are standing at the crossroads—as Jeremiah puts it:
Yet the Lord pleads with you still: Ask where the good road is, the godly paths you used to walk in, in the days of long ago. Travel there, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, “No, that is not the road I want!” —Jeremiah 6:16 (TLB)
Don’t yell an angry, “NO!” Cry a humble “yes,” and find rest again.
If you will not turn to God, The Holy One of Truth and Wisdom, not even your loved ones can help you. Until you’re willing to expose your false self and cease your fake salvation, you can’t be helped. Until you ask to be rescued, you’ll continue to drift further and further away.
Unrelenting unforgivness hurts no one but yourself. The one who offended you is unharmed by your hoarding of anger and offense. They’re free, but you’re not!
I plead with you, turn to God and be honest. Be brave. Be loving to yourself again and live! You may not realize it, but you’ve had the keys to your own prison all along.
“… You will weep no more. He will be gracious if you ask him for help. He will surely respond to the sound of your cries.” —Isaiah 30:19
Jesus Christ died that you may live and was raised to life that you may never die.
For there is no peace and no rest in wasting your life being unforgiving. There is life and peace in Jesus Christ.
Here, please read Psalms 23 — it’s a beautiful passageway to life!
“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” —Psalm 23
Trust Him—He will give you rest for all your weariness and heal your splintered mind!
Maybe you’ll be restored enough to even feast in the presence of those who once hurt and offended you.
A while ago, I was awakened in the middle of the night, deeply troubled about the potential results of the 2024 elections. I got up to use the bathroom, and on my way back to bed, I distinctly heard a voice say:
“And this too must come to pass.”
I wrestled with those words for a few moments. And then I understood what the Lord was saying. If you truly trust and believe in my Word, then you must understand that these things must come to pass.
While nothing more would please me, and possibly you as well, would be a change in the moral and economic condition of this great nation. Even if for just a few years of reprieve, so that some of us can get back on our feet again and reengage the “American Dream.” Or perhaps finish our education and land a career. Or enter retirement with a full nest egg and an adequate 401k.
Now, as it must prophetically roll forward, the future seems unclear. But is it as unclear as we think, or have we forgotten, as we so easily do, what the scriptures have said?
“And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not troubled; for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.” –Mathew 24:6
“If you examine the past, you will find direction for the future,” has always been a reliable saying. However, we must examine our future and God’s promises to understand the times we live in and the days in which we’re all heading. Then we can understand what the Spirit is saying to the Churches:
“And this too must come to pass.”
This is our greatest opportunity to meet the tremendous needs unfolding before us. As our forerunners of old, we must declare that the Kingdom and the Economy of God are at hand. This hope must replace the hope we have in our politicians—in the American dream—in our careers and in our retirement. All these things are mere shadows of the bigness, brightness, and expansion of the Kingdom of God! Don’t we want this to come to pass?
The Kingdom of God is where all our hopes and dreams should be focused!
It is, and always, will be necessary for us Christians to engage in our civic duties and be good citizens of whatever country God has placed us in. But we must remember that we are also citizens of the Eternal Kingdom and a better place called Heaven. Our lives must reveal our eternal hope in God’s promises and the future he plainly marked out for us in his Holy Word.
If we truly live as citizens of Heaven and declare to this needy world that the Kingdom of God and its glorious economy is here, now, then we’ve lost nothing but have gained everything!
I love politics. I love to watch its unfolding — the potential of good vs. evil. I love to see good men and women statesmen stand against evil and the injustice of our time. These are the vanguards of our society, suppressing the evil power against the weakest among us. But wokeism, Leftest ideologies, and the sexual exploitation of children are too much to bear.
“And this too must come to pass.”
I don’t like this—not one bit! But again, God’s word and his promises drive us all forward and set the stage for what will soon be. If we engage our citizenship of Heaven, what lies ahead is to be welcomed—not feared!
I say, let us be like the people of Whoville; while Christmas had been stolen, they still gathered as a village and celebrated Christmas anyway, and even to the Grinch’s shock and surprise:
“How could it be so? It came without ribbons!—it came without tags!—it came without packages, boxes, or bags!”
Rise up, O People of God! Rise up! “Greater is He within you than he in the world!” Act like a people whose God is the Lord and declare that a far better political order has arrived! It is The Lord God Almighty, Wonderful Counselor, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace! And the government shall rest upon his shoulders, and his kingdom shall know no end.” This is our true heritage, our future, and our true identity!
We may fail with political might. But, let us succeed with true spiritual power by loving each other so that the world may see and hear the True King of Kings, Lord of Lords, and President of Presidents!
Let us welcome all of it and fear not but rejoice because nearer are the days of our Lord’s return than when we first believed.
Remember and have faith, as “this too must come to pass.”
Call To Courage 