“Be careful that no one fails to get God’s grace. Be careful that no one loses their faith and becomes like a bitter weed growing among you. Someone like that can ruin your whole group.” —Hebrews 12:15 (ERV)
A simple yet profound question from a friend has stayed with me:
“Tom, are you bitter or better?”
Life’s trials will come, but our choice determines our sense of peace. Bitterness isolates; betterness unites. By embracing God’s redemptive grace and forgiving others, we unlock a life of freedom, love, and meaningful relationships.
We are all confronted with hurt and pain from others. The choice to become bitter or better is available to all of us. The choice always comes down to two letters, the letter i or the e, b(i)tter or b(e)tter.
Bitterness is a collection of wrongs done by others, causing emotional constipation, psychological disfigurement, and spiritual disconnection from God and others.
The Holy Spirit wants to move us away from bitterness and leads us towards betterment. That is what God’s grace means here—the empowerment to avoid bitterness.
Matter of fact, the verse from Hebrews warns us to be careful that no one fails to receive God’s grace and that no one loses their faith. In other words, we need to watch each others back, rather than plunging knives into them.
Bitterness is the absence of God’s grace, as it displaces his presence, his wisdom, and conviction of the Holy Spirit. A bitter person is always looking to recruit people into their cesspool of bitter complaints. If you join them you’ll get drawn into their emotional quicksand with no one to rescue you!
We become bitter only when we reject God’s grace whispered to us by the Holy Spirit, and when we follow and listen to bitter people. Bitterness is a contagion; it is contracted through casual gossip and always corrupts the mind before it rots the soul. Bitterness has destroyed marriages, families, businesses, and especially churches.
Stay with God’s Word and his distinct and clear voice. Obey the Holy Spirit and become better. If not, you’ll destroy your faith, and walk away from God and the people who truly love you!
Even if you are bitter, you can become better. According to Hebrews 12:15, the antidote against bitterness is ensuring that not one person is missing out from God’s grace. Doing that leaves little time and opportunity for bitterness to take root.
When you stab yourself and others with bitterness, you also forfeit God’s grace that could be yours.
People will love a better you, but bitterness will drive even your closest friends away. Bitterness is a pill, whereby its side effect causes loneliness and detachment. Not only between those who love you, but even within yourself. Your bitterness makes you dangerous—a danger to yourself and others.
Bitterness grows within your heart and soul, like a destructive and evasive tree root. It enters into areas it doesn’t belong, causing emotional disfigurment, and psychological damage. But its damage is reversible. There is hope and healing!
Do you want to live a better life?
Then forgive the offense of others, and you’ll live a bitter free life.
I know—I know, you’ve been terribly hurt or offended. But your bitterness puts you in competition with God. You’re actually saying, “I know better than God,” and therefore you feel justified to condemn. That’s pretty tragic, don’t you think?
But the longer you hold onto bitterness, the more impossible it is for you to forgive. The longer you wait to forgive those who’ve hurt you the further away God’s grace becomes.
I don’t want you to miss out on God’s grace, I want you free and full of life, just like you used to be. I want you to find your faith again in God and to enjoy his presence in your soul.
I want you to love and to be loved again. I want you to stop the cruelty to your heart and soul!
Don’t you see?
Bitterness is not the cure—it’s a poison! The real cure may seem impossible, but it’s the only cure that will set you free and put you on the road to recovery.
The only cure to bitterness is forgiveness. Forgiveness is even more powerful if you were to lead in it. I promise that if you do, you’ll be right as rain and feeling better and not bitter.
It’s those forgotten little memories that can change everything!
Early in 1998, my brother called and told me that my dad was dying of cancer and that dad was asking for me.
When I heard this, I was very upset. Not that my father was dying, mind you, but that he’d asked for me. I needed him all my life, and now, he’s asking for me?
“Tell Dad I’m not coming!” I replied.
I have four brothers and a sister, and they all called me, urging me to visit Dad. A week or so went by, and I finally caved into the pressure.
I first visited my dad in the Contra Costa County Hospital, as the VA in Martinez, California, was short on beds. There, he lay in a bed surrounded by adjustable rails. My younger brother, John, and my mother were present.
My mom pulled me aside to tell me the seriousness of Dad’s esophageal cancer. She said, “It doesn’t look good, I’ve researched the prognosis, and he doesn’t have much time left.” By the time I had visited my father, he’d already been battered by chemotherapy and every other treatment.
The cancer had permanently closed up his esophagus, and he could no longer swallow but was fed through a feeding tube, which was surgically inserted through the side of his abdomen and directly into his stomach. My father was so frightened; I had never seen him so fragile and helpless.
Since things did not look good for my dad, I called one of my pastors from our church in Danville, California, called East Bay Fellowship, which I was attending with my wife and kids. I asked if Pastor Allan Shrewsbury could come by and pray over my father in the hope that it would give him some comfort.
Pastor Allan quickly arrived, praying with my dad and confirming my father’s faith and trust in Jesus Christ as his Savior.
It was getting late, and we began to ready ourselves to leave when I noticed tears filling my father’s eyes, along with the room filling with a sense of heaviness. It seemed as though this might be our last goodbye. I think the feeling of; “he may not make it through the night” hit all of us at the same time.
Compassion began to rise within my heart. I leaned over his bedrail and gently kissed my father’s unshaven face. His prickly whiskers caused my lips to tingle. My brother John leaned in and kissed our dad, as did my mom, and then we all tried to convince and reassure him that he would be fine as we slowly left the room.
As John and I walked out together towards the parking lot, my lips still tingling, I said:
“John, there is something strangely familiar about kissing dad.” I continued:
“My lips—they’re still tingling!”
John responded:
“What’s up with you, Tom? Don’t you remember when we were little kids, we’d line up in front of dad’s favorite chair and kiss him goodnight on his cheek, and he’d say with a smile,
’… Don’t let the bedbugs bite!’”
All of a sudden, good memories came flooding into my mind. That gentle kiss on my father’s unshaven face was a key to my dungeon of despair and loneliness. All my years of anger, bitterness, and hatred; all my doubts and unforgiveness, all swallowed up from the tingly whiskers of my father’s unshaven face!
After that moment, I couldn’t wait to see my father. I saw him over the next several months as often as I could.
Several weeks before my dad passed away, a nurse came into his hospital room, asking:
“Who is your executor and healthcare director?”
My father lifted his feeble arm and pointed in my direction. I turned to see if one of my two older brothers was behind me, but there was no one.
For some, this would have been an unwelcome appointment, a burden, but for me, it meant I had my father’s complete and utter trust and respect. The significance of my dad’s appointment was a paradigm shift for me, possibly one of my most life-affirming events.
Later, I learned that my father had consulted with my mother about whom he should appoint as Trustee of his estate and healthcare. My mother agreed with my dad on his final choice. My sister, Laurie, was also named co-trustee. Simply amazing!
A few weeks later, my dad’s condition was worsening. His organs were beginning to show signs of shutting down. At this point, my siblings and I would trade off, spending the night with Dad alone.
Finally, it was my turn. It was October 7, 1998. I arrived shortly after the dinner hour. A nurse brought in a cot with a blanket and a pillow for me to sleep on. My dad and I talked for quite a while, mostly about politics, which was my dad’s favorite topic. Soon, it was lights out, which never happens in a hospital.
As I lay there, realizing the significance of this moment with my dad, I knew if I didn’t say what was indeed on my heart now, that this moment would be lost forever. You see, my father had never told me that he loved me. I was thirty-nine years old, and my dad was about to turn sixty-nine the next day. I wanted so much to hear those words from him; no, I needed to hear those words from him—something in me was guiding me and granting me the courage to say what I needed to say:
“Dad?”
“Yes, son?” he replied
Dad … I love you!” I said cautiously.
Only mere seconds passed by, but it felt like years.
“… I love you too, son,” Dad replied.
I exchanged “I love you” with my dad for what seemed like all night long! I said those precious and life-giving words, which he echoed back:
“I love you too, son.”
All my hate and anger against my dad had washed away, and now for good! I heard the three most important words every son or daughter needs to hear:
“I love you, son!”
“Look, I am sending you the prophet Elijah before the great and dreadful day of the LORD arrives. His preaching will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers. Otherwise, I will come and strike the land with a curse.” — Malachi 4: 5-6
The days of the “curse” were finally over for me. For a greater spirit than Elijah had entered that hospital room that night. The Spirit of the Living God had softened the hearts of father and son, and the mess I had made of my life suddenly became beautiful!
“His wrath, you see, is fleeting, but His grace lasts a lifetime. The deepest pains may linger through the night, but joy greets the soul with the smile of morning.” — Psalms 30:5
My dad, while broken with cancer, poured into me so much life and hope, and, in such a short time! The man whom I had despised all of my life was my dad, with whom I just fell in love but who is now leaving.
The morning came, with it, a smile and a “Happy Birthday, Dad!”
It was October 8, 1998, and my father wanted to get cleaned up for his Birthday. He said:
“Tom, get my shaving bag, it’s over there, in that cabinet.”
“Here it is, Dad,” I replied.
“Okay, get my Electric Shave lotion and my razor out,” my dad directed, and then he asked:
“Son, will you shave my face?”
This may sound silly, but this was the most intimate moment I’ve ever had with my father. The whiskers that tingled my lips and softened the hardness of my heart, the mouth that finally spoke: “I love you too, son,” was the face I was about to care for and shave.
“The deepest pains may linger through the night, but joy greets the soul with the smile of morning.”
… and I shaved my father’s face.
That is why I would not change a single moment of my life. The pain is swallowed up in the sweetness of heartfelt forgiveness and the “I love yous.” For what had become broken has now been given, and the mess of my life has now become beautiful!
Four days later, on October 12, 1998, my father passed away. At his right-hand side, I stood a restored and beloved son, loved and approved. As life was quickly draining from my dad, he looked up towards the ceiling, letting out his final breath; he smiled, his heartbeat stopped, and we wept loudly in the grief of our great loss! I then reached over his body and closed my father’s eyes.
He died my hero triumphantly and bravely; he faced death and passed from this life into the heart of God.
“Death swallowed by triumphant Life! Who got the last word? Oh, Death, who’s afraid of you now?” – I Corinthians 15:55
While this was both a painful and magical time for me, these events with my father were a new beginning and a paradigm shift for my present and future.
I can honestly say that God used the final moments of my father’s life to make me into a better man, a restored son, and a better father.
Letting my anger for my father go allowed love to come bursting in. Becoming my father’s beloved son made it possible for me to believe I could be God’s beloved son, too.
Good night. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bedbugs bite. I’ll see you in heaven. I love you, dad!
Your inner peace expressed outwardly is a greater force than a sword or spear.
Inner peace equals outer peace. You can’t have one without the other. The world’s peace is fragile and flimsy. You’ve not been given worldly peace.
Jesus’ Gift of Peace
“Peace, I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Your heart must not be troubled or fearful.” John 14:27
Jesus tells us that his peace transcends the world’s concept of peace. So much so that our hearts must not be troubled or fearful. To be troubled or fearful means that our focus on Jesus has been compromised. We’ve allowed something other than the peace of Christ to work its way into our hearts and minds.
This doesn’t happen overnight. A slow and steady diet of false peace that the world offers; that is, peace in persons, places, and things is nothing but empty calories, so to speak. We think that if we live in the world that we must act like the world. But honestly, we are no longer of this world. Our hearts and minds should be in heaven, the same place our treasures ought to be.
It’s the world’s trouble and fear, which makes us think that way. Closeness to Jesus, resting in his authority, his Holy Word, and abiding in the Holy Spirit (The Comforter) is how we have peace while the world and our Nation are in turmoil.
Are you aware that turmoil and chaos are just around the corner?
Are you ready?
Will your peace weather the storm?
The world has its warriors, but you men and women are sons and daughters of The Most-High God! You are heirs to Christ and possessors of the Holy Spirit. You have no trouble like the world has and nothing to worry about.
I’ll repeat it; you have no trouble like the world has and nothing to fear! Instead, don’t join the world, rather quiet the world with the peace of Jesus Christ.
Your Savior is the Prince of Peace, and he resides in you! But you also must reside in the Words of Jesus, in his promises, and in his commands.
What can make your trouble troubling is when you forget that Jesus has made you an overcomer. Jesus never said if we believed and belonged to him that we’d have no problems. On the contrary, here’s what Jesus has said:
“I have told you this so that through me you may have peace. In the world you’ll have trouble, but be courageous—I’ve overcome the world!” – John 16:33
Your inner peace expressed outwardly is a greater force than a sword or spear. If you have faith, trust, and obedience, your true enemies will know of your qualities well before you arrive—well before you pray and before you speak. You will be known as God’s Peaceful Warrior!
Have you ever thought of yourself as God’s peaceful warrior? Well, you have no reason not to. Jesus tells those following him:
“I tell you no one ever born on this earth is greater than John the Baptist. But whoever is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he.” – Matthew 11:11
You see, what little faith you may have, and what little importance you may feel, dosen’t detract from your place in God’s Kingdom. No, not one bit! According to Jesus, you’re actually greater than John the Baptist!
Understanding this truth, coupled with “the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus,” as read in Philippians 4:7, should supercharge you confidence!
Are you aware of just how frightening your inner peace is to the enemy?
Being a peaceful warrior devastates the devil and his wretched plans. It reminds him of the Messiah’s resurrection, and he scurries away, instantly defeated.
“Finally, my brothers, be strong in the Lord and the power of his might.” – Ephesians 6:10
“For unto us a child is born, unto us, a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.” – Isaiah 9:6
“Great peace have those who love your law; nothing can make them stumble.” – Psalm 119:165
When you understand that “all government” is on the shoulders of the Prince of Peace, and nothing can make you stumble, you’ll excel in calmness, courage, and boldness.
Rest in the Peace of Jesus, and join His army of peaceful warriors!
Love is worth the battle—you are worth battling for. Don’t surrender. Your story is not over!
An adversary and a battle always precedes a happily-ever-after. Not only is this true for every romance and marriage, but it is also true of our faith. Storytellers and movie-makers are consistently using this theme over and over again.
What kind of romance, marriage, or faith would there be without an adversary and without a battle? Wouldn’t a movie or story be boring without an adversary and without battle?
After all, adventure, battle, and beauty are within our DNA—within the very depths of our hearts and souls.
As a matter of fact, the themes of an adventure, battle, and beauty are actually borrowed from God’s story of his crowning creation, that is, Adam and Eve. First, he creates them, then loses them to the Serpent’s craftiness. Then, God pursues his creation until he later rescues mankind back from the adversary by sending our champion, Jesus Christ the Righteousness One. Not only does God rescue those he lost, but his Son delivers a death blow to our most wretched adversaries, Sin and Death!
“Will I ransom them from the power of the grave? Will I redeem them from death’s hold? Death, where are your diseases? Grave, where is your victory? — Hosea 13:14
“Death’s sting is sin, and the power of sin is the Law. Thanks be to God, who gives us this victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!” — 1 Corinthians 15:56-57
“But the LORD says, “The captives of warriors will be released, and the plunder of tyrants will be retrieved. For I will fight those who fight you, and I will save your children.” — Isaiah 49:25
And, for those who believe, this is not quite the end of God’s story—not by a long shot! He is preparing a place for us, our happily-ever-after. A place where all adversaries, including sin, death, disease, and the devil; where all loss, decay and brokenness, and even our tears will be forever vanquished.
So, don’t despise hardships and adversities, with it comes a life worth living and a God who, not only loves to come through for his children, but trains us through our adversities and battles, to come through for those whom we love, including strangers that God brings across our paths.
“A song of David. Praise the Lord! He is my rock. He prepares me for war. He trains me for battle.” — Psalms 144: 1.
Happily-Ever-After is worth the scars and setbacks, for life and true living are their reward.
“But we are not those who draw back and are destroyed, but those who have faith and obtain life.” — Hebrews 10:39
Stand your ground. Cling to your faith. Be brave and upright. Hold to the truth. Love fiercely and never give up on others.
“For I consider that our present sufferings can not even be compared to the coming glory that will be revealed to us.” — Romans 8:18
“What then shall we say about these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” — Romans 8:31
Engage your battles as a victor and never as a victim. For you are a true Child of God after all and your Heavenly Father, well He’s the God of the Angel Armies!
God is your happily-ever-after. He fights for you!
Being a leader is becoming a servant and refusing all temptation to be otherwise.
A true leader is the first to repent, the first to seek forgiveness, and the first to rise after a fall. He is the first to extend grace to others because he’s the first to extend grace to himself. He sets a standard that others can achieve without the need for a diploma or a pinstriped suit.
A true leader has learned the art of diminishment. He understands that if others are to increase that he must decrease, so he looks for others to promote rather than himself. He restrains himself from being the source of revelation but instead helps others find the Source.
He is more interested in raising leaders and not followers.
He does not set his own life as a standard to follow. He knows his life is plagued with imperfection and that leaders don’t always do what is right; that’s impossible. Instead, his humility points to the sufficiency found only in Christ and not in himself. He is clothed in Christ’s humility rather than theological pedigrees.
A true leader refuses to sit on pedestals. He denies the acclaim and the applause of men. He understands fleshly accent will lead not only to his demise but to all those who foolishly elevate him.
So, he leads with humility, quiet strength, and fear reserved for the Lord. The voice and message that matters most to him are; “well done, my good and faithful servant,” and not the flattery of men.
Being a leader is becoming a servant and refusing all temptation to be otherwise.
Men and women of these qualities appear rare because humanity always looks in the wrong places for such leaders. The world looks for a King Saul, but God, he looks for a Shepherd boy.
Be careful following the “impeccable,” they may be a fake and a phony. A real man of God doesn’t hide his imperfections; he leads through them and because of them. Don’t become captivated by their charisma, but rather by their character.
The authenticity of a real man of God and a true leader is who they are after the crowds leave and what their wife and children see of them when no one’s looking.
A good man’s greatest compliments come from his wife and children.
With long days and even longer nights, I have written more and have done a great deal of thinking and searching. Each time I do, more memories and tears bubble up. But these are good tears because what was once tragic is now increasingly becoming a blessing.
So, I’ve added more stories and more insight. It’s been the hindsight, coupled with new understanding, which has been revealing the fingerprints and mastery of a loving Father-hearted God, who, by the way, took all my days of good and evil and is progressively showing his artistry through all of it.
His color palate contains far more colors than just “black and white,” which is what many cold and lifeless religions preach to us. He is an unlimited God, with shades of an eternal spectrum yet to be discovered, and a profoundly intimate God, motivated with an ever-expanding Father-heart. He is filled with grace and wisdom. His love utterly humbles me, and if you can believe it, speechless at His unconditional grace and mercy towards even a guy like me.
Thank you all for your prayers and kindness. I genuinely hope and pray that whatever you may be battling or struggling through, it too is woven into something beautiful, no matter how difficult or painful. God loves a “stacked deck,” the more complex your life may be, the more impossible for a solution or cure, the more grace will appear — for our God loves, absolutely loves to come through!
So then, in our weaknesses and fragility, we can boast about God’s grace and that we’re also co-siblings with The Great Overcomer, Jesus Christ. We are children of the Father-hearted God. We are vastly wealthy and greatly loved.
I was at a water damaged home in Walnut Creek several years ago. I was speaking with the mother of this cute little, “Shirley Temple” like 3-year old. A few minutes later, the front door opens, and the little girl lights up and runs to her father, excitedly yelling, Abba, Abba, my Abba is home! I gotta tell yah, that brief moment tugged at my heart. I think it’s because that’s how we’ll one day greet our Heavenly Father. That’s how he wants us to greet him each new day. I think God’s favorite name is Abba!
So, notify your soul and face too, and show the world how great our God is. From your sick beds to your busy offices and lives, from your living rooms to the dressing rooms of Macy’s and Kohl’s — in every shopping line, and especially at Walmart, For our God is a great God, 24/7!
He loves to reveal his Father-Heart to broken and lost people. Our God would rather hang out with the despised and rejected than dwell with kings and queens — that’s just how special you are!
There’s no need to be anyone else than you. No need to be with anyone else than with the Father-hearted God!
If you’re not living as though heaven is for real, then you’re not prepared to live there.
“Nobody gets too much heaven no more It’s much harder to come by I’m waiting in line Nobody gets too much love anymore It’s as high as a mountain And harder to climb…” “Too Much Heaven,” by (Songwriter(s): Barry, Robin & Maurice Gibb) Recorded: July 1978
We’ve got to stop playing into the hands of Unbelievers and Utopians by joining them in bringing heaven to earth. It’s our job as believers to bring people to heaven and living a lifestyle that points the way.
Heaven is our destination, which makes us sojourners and not settlers while here on earth.
The old saying:
“Don’t be too Heavenly minded, or you’ll be no earthly good.”
That is a lie!
Being Heavenly minded is how we avoid becoming too worldly, and so becoming ineffective on earth.
We lead people towards God because of the amazing hope of heaven within us.
Colossians 3:1-2
Living the New Life
“Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth.”
Hmm, “… realities of heaven,” I like that! Heaven is a reality; it’s for real, or have you forgotten?
“Nobody gets too much heaven no more” is because our worldly goals and comforts have replaced our heavenly destination. Jesus spoke of a present Heavenly Kingdom, which is here, now, and already within us, who believe.
… We’ve just forgotten it!
Heaven is both our prize and reward, which is barely spoken about or herald from pulpits. Doesn’t truly loving God mean that we have a longing to be with Him; to be where our Lover and Redeemer dwells?
We’ve trivialized what it truly means to “love the Lord thy God,” and turned love into an impossible feat, making real love as unreachable, “as a high mountain” that has become “too hard to climb.”
No heaven and no love no more is making our world into a hellish place, whereby more and more people want off earth, but in the wrong way, and in the wrong direction!
Why are so many “broken people” willing to take as many people to hell with them as possible?
Why would John Lennon pen the famous lyrics…
“Imagine there’s no heaven It’s easy if you try No hell below us Above us only sky”
… which happens to be the atheist’s Anthem!
This song, as popular as it is, is not directing people to a place of world peace. It’s directing people straight to hell, all during a nice tune and a sweet melody.
According to Ecclesiastes 3:11, We were created with “eternity written on our hearts.” We can’t fathom “only sky.” We have souls fitted for eternity.
Where are the Holy People of God who are to lead the lost and hopeless to the love of God and the only pathway to heaven, which is Jesus Christ?
If you’re not living as though heaven is for real, then you’re not prepared to live there. If you’re not loving God for real, then you’re making love impossible.
God’s love is real, and so Heaven is real, too!
As a matter of fact, heaven is so real that God sent his only Son, in the form of a baby, to make a way for you and me to enter heaven.
Before Jesus gave up his last breath, he said to the thief, hanging on his own cross next to him:
“… This day, you will be with me in Paradise.”
Jesus came to earth so that you too may be with him in heaven. The thief on the cross recognized Jesus’s innocence, and in so doing, believed that Jesus is the Christ.
I hope you, too, will believe.
The world would be a better place with more heavenly minded people on it! Wouldn’t you think so?
To Know His Heart Is Everything; To Know Your Heart Is Where It Begins…
The wounds and scars your body and heart now bare are not those of an abandoned boy or little girl but of those of an adopted and well-loved child.
If you can’t recognize or misinterpret God’s chastisement, it’s because you don’t believe in your sonship.
It’s because you don’t quite know the heart of God. Well, maybe not enough just yet…
… You see, I just want to inspire you to ponder a little, just below the surface of your heart and mind. Just to get a glimpse at another possibility or maybe a deeper reason behind those pesky feelings.
Don’t focus on how you’ve been wounded and scarred, but seek out the teacher who permitted it. If you seek Him, you will find Him and discover hidden treasures that God put there.
Sometimes what’s motivating our feelings is a sense of unworthiness. True, none of us are worthy of God’s grace and goodness, but emotional unworthiness can cause you to doubt God and miss his good intentions for your life.
As soon as your heart learns the significance of your wounds and scars, light will come bursting in, and your strength and passion will be renewed like never before.
Or, you can reject all this and be stuck in a “Groundhog Day” life, whereby you repeat the cycle of God’s chastisement until you surrender to his love.
Kind of look at it this way; you’re being tested, not tempted. God knows your heart, and the tests occur so that you’ll know where your heart is. The hardship is to draw your attention to what’s going on inside your heart. If you’re stuck on doubt and abandonedment, you’ll fail God’s test. He’s cheering you on to succeed and not to fail.
Look, God wants you to pass his tests with flying colors. He’s always nearby to show you the way to his finish line.
I know, sometimes it doesn’t feel like God is there. Sometimes, it feels like no one is there, not even a close friend, your wife, husband, mom, or dad. You may think no one understands or cares. I know, all too well, how you can feel lonely, even in a crowded room.
Do you want the honest truth? All of that stuff; loneliness, doubt, and abandonedment, are feelings and are nothing more than an orphan mentality. God doesn’t orphan those he loves. Nope, not at all. It’s not God making you feel that way. It’s the Father of Lies, not your Heavenly Father.
God treats every son and daughter with the same passion. He wants you holy so that you can be whole. He’ll cut away anything that stands in the way of your wholeness. He wants you to be just like him, holy; separated from all that stuff that separates you from Him. Sometimes, it feels like abandonedment — even in your loneliness, though, God is at work.
Don’t relapse into your old ways. Don’t pretend to have it all together — pride is not the answer. Abandon, your false attempts to cover up — God sees right through your charades.
Did you really think you could get away with sin?
Did you honestly think God would allow sin, despair, and the devil to be your downfall?
Well, I don’tthink so. God bankrupted heaven in giving up His Son, Jesus, just to show you how much he loves you. Don’t think for a second that he didn’t love his Son. Jesus died to make you into a real child of his Father. That’s why he resurrected his Son from the grave! He got His Son back, and He wants you back, too!
Well, would you look at that—Father and Son – working together to make you a permanent member of His family!
Only an illegitimate son or daughter can escape correction, but a true child of God must be refined. And his refinement, well, it comes from a good place, from his heart.
So your hardship is not a string of bad luck. No, they’re a rope to pull you closer to the heart of your Heavenly Papa.
Seek to know the heart of God, and you’ll never get lost in difficult days. You’ll never again forget that you belong to him.
So, say good riddance to loneliness, doubt, and abandonedment because you’re a child of the Most High God, and He happens to be in love with you!
He is a fierce lover and a faithful Father. Hallelujah and amen!
“Each time we don’t say what we wanna say, we’re dying.” – Yoko Ono
Don’t let silence kill your life, joy, or your future. Speak from your heart and live.
You may agree that the three most powerful words are “I Love You.”
Can these three little words indeed be so powerful and significant?
After all, for many, these words fall from our mouths so casually and regularly that we miss their true meaning and worth. But what happens if, for some of us, we’ve never heard those words from our moms or dads or the most important people in our lives?
Well, that was my story…
I lived through nearly four decades of silence from my father. I hated my father because of his silence and uninvolvement in my life as a boy. His career and extreme work ethic took him from me when I needed him.
When I heard that my dad was dying from esophageal cancer, I initially refused to visit him. My anger held me back for a little while until my siblings ganged up on me.
Four days before my father passed, I had the opportunity to stay overnight with him at the VA Hospital in Martinez, CA. (My father was wounded in action by a missile attack during the Korean War on September 19, 1951). He had served in the Army as a private, 1st class medic.
After the lights went out in my dad’s hospital room, courage rose within my heart, and I spoke the three most important words that I could say to the most important man in my life:
Dad?
“Yes, son.”
Dad, …I love you!
It felt like an eternity of silence orbited the darkened hospital room…
…Then, from my dad’s weakened condition, I heard what my heart and soul had so longed to hear during the 39 silent years I had lived:
“I love you too, son.”
Suddenly, unspeakable joy filled my heart, and tears rolled down my face. I called out to my dad several more times that night, saying:
Dad?
“Yes, son.”
Dad, …I love you!
“I love you too, son.”
I heard my father say he loved me, which washed all the years of hurt, anger, and loneliness from my body, soul, and mind. My father’s words were a healing balm that would change my life from that day forward.
My father’s words also helped me to accept my Heavenly Father’s love for me.
“I am my beloved, and he is mine; his banner over me is love!” Songs of Songs
“See, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreaded day of the Lord. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest when I come, I strike the earth with a curse.” Malachi 4:5-6
Jesus came to me late on October 8, 1998, at night in that VA Hospital room in Martinez, California. He bound up my wounds and healed my broken heart. He freed this captive and released me from a prison of loneliness, despair, and anger. He lifted the curse from my life, and by becoming my father’s beloved son, I became God’s also!
“Come away with me, my love, my lovely one, come. For you, winter is over and gone. The snow has melted, and the flowers are in bloom; the cooing of the turtle doves can be heard throughout the land. Come away with me, my love, my lovely one, come. Your face is beautiful; your voice is sweet. Come away with me, my love, my lovely one, come.” Songs of Songs
My Dad became my hero and went away to be with the Lord of Life on October 12, 1998. I stood at his right side, holding his hand until he breathed his last breath. He looked up to the ceiling, smiled, and then was gone. We all wept so loudly as a family that our cries could be heard throughout the hospital wing.
A few moments later, I stretched my hand over my father’s face, and I closed my father’s eyes.
Yes, words do matter. Be brave, be courageous, and allow your heart to speak its words before it is too late. The “I love you, dad,” unlocked my father’s heart, which echoed those desperately needed words from him into my hungry and hurting heart and soul.
There is unspeakable power in the three simple words; “I love you” or “please forgive me.”” While these words are simple, it takes great courage to say them. Please, don’t be stubborn and don’t be afraid, dare to speak and listen for the reply; “I love you too.”
Scripture says, “If you hear God’s voice today, don’t be stubborn. Don’t be stubborn like those who rebelled in the wilderness.” – Hebrews 3:15
Don’t let silence kill your life, joy, or your future. Speak from your heart and live!
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” Psalms 147:3
“A wound where there is no weeping, writes, John Eldreged, is a wound that can not be healed.” Your wounded heart can be healed. But you must share your wounded heart with God.
Wounds and scars, whether physical or emotional, are essential to being human. It happens to all of us. The following is written on the back of my business card:
“Living a scarless life is not living at all. Sometimes, our greatest triumphs lie in our greatest defeats. In all things, I am a child of God and never a victim. I do not, therefore, interpret tragic circumstances as mishaps, but a divinely scheduled trip to God’s beauty salon.”
If we only see ourselves as victims in every crisis, loss, or betrayal, we deny the very instrument and tool for which God is doing his best work in us. When you refuse to become the victim and instead respond in praise and thanksgiving to God, you, therefore, thwart darkness and defeat the devil.
The devil wants you to wallow in bitterness and anguish. He wants you paralyzed, frozen in time and eternity with a wounded and broken heart. He knows that a heart not healed will keep you from God, keep you from salvation.
The old saying, “time heals all wounds,” is not from the Bible. It’s from the devil!
This is why Jesus of Nazareth read from – Isaiah 61: 1
“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to heal and bind up the brokenhearted…”
As a matter of fact, Jesus’ reading of the Isaiah passage was the official announcement of his earthly ministry.
The Psalmist, King David, penned:
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” – Psalms 147:3
“His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!” He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?” In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.” – Job 2:9-10
God is in control – He’s not only our Creator, but He’s our Father also. He touches our lives with wisdom and cares for us greater than our earthly fathers. He’s preparing us for eternity with Him, and His actions are always with this in mind.
The devil wants you, if possible, to never meet your Heavenly Father. If he can’t prevent that, he’ll at least pervert it by causing your earthly father to wound your heart and soul. When our hearts bear the scars of father’s wounds, it is so hard, if not impossible, to trust God as our everlasting father.
And this is the central theme of Jesus’ ministry; to rescue you from the penalty of sin and the grip of the devil and to heal your broken heart so that salvation can come to you.
“No one can come to the Father,” said Jesus, except through me.” – John 14:6
Your heart must be healed because it is to become your Heavenly Father’s dwelling place.
He alone is the home for your wounded heart. Trust him, He’s making you beautiful inside and out.
Call To Courage 