What To Do When Parents Abuse – By Thomas J. Koester

“Fathers, don’t irritate your children and make them resentful; instead, raise them with the Lord’s kind of discipline and guidance.” – Ephesians 6:4

When strangers or acquaintances abuse us, it hurts, but not as much as when it’s a sibling, mom, or dad. You see, all of our identity and self-worth are derived from family but especially from our parents. When their abuse is emotional, spiritual, verbal, physical, etc., it attacks the core of our identity.

Toni and I are battling 35 years of abuse with her family, and especially with her parents.

Toni’s father was a pastor for most of Toni’s life. What she encountered as abuse was spiritual and religious in nature, steeped in legalism and perfectionism. Her mother told Toni and her siblings to deny their feelings. To go against instinct – to submit beyond question. To fear fear. Accept failure but to keep quiet. To compromise inner truth for outer fakeness.

My story was filled, as you may know, with physical and violent abuse. I dare say, I prefer the abuse that I endured more than what my dear Toni, has endured, and still does to this day!

I’ve asked a question several times over the years when speaking at men’s retreats and gatherings.

“Which would you rather have, a broken leg or a broken heart?”

Everyone in the room, shouted:

“A broken leg!”

This is because most of us, sadly, are well acquainted with the deep pain of a broken heart and the countless years of suffering.

My wife’s heart, while broken during her adolescent life, is undergoing healing over her adult years as she walks with God. Her healing could be accelerated if her parents would join her in her healing journey.

Yet, her parents want her and me, too, to “see no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil.” This silence and blindness to evil has allowed the unmitigated reign of evil over many in her family. It’s painful to watch, but prayer gives us our only hope.

However, religious abuse is hard to see, because it looks socially acceptable—it looks so spiritual! Sadly, the abuse that Toni is suffering has wreaked havoc on her innocence. Her frailty. Her femininity. On her mind. On her heart and soul. This caused her to feel spiritually dirty most of her life and hyper-subjective.

Because her abuse was from religious parents, it locked her into a prison of impossible expectations. A perfectionism that not even God would impose. Right? God’s perfection is imputed or placed upon us by the works of Jesus. Toni was expected to be perfect by religious means and not by divine decree. Sadly, this is the story of many children who are fathered by ministers.

So, how do we forgive mom or dad, or both?

“Honor your father and mother so that you may live long in the land and that it may go well with you.” – Deuteronomy 5:16

Remember, this is God’s command with no prerequisites. It’s his 5th commandment—smack-dab in the middle!

One reason God gives us this command is because parents, by design, are to be “lesser gods” to their offspring. The fifth commandment can also be applied to God.

Honor [God] so that you may live long in the land and that all my go well with you.

So, when we dishonor our parents, we also dishonor God, and we put great risks to our well-being and life expectancy.

But what about abusive parents? Are we to honor our abusers?

Here’s the question: Did God give us our parents, or did God give us to our parents?

It’s important to know, for several reasons.

The Allmighty of Scriptures is the Sovereign God. He’s the divine architect and the builder. He is motivated by nothing else than his will and purpose. Also, scripture is quite clear that God is very relational, right down to the individual — the individual parent and child. It boggles the mind, or at least mine, that God thought of you, me, and our parents before space and time!

“Before the creation of the world, he chose us through Christ to be holy and perfect in his presence.” – Ephesians 1:4

“The Lord formed me from the beginning before he created anything else. I was appointed in ages past, at the very first, before the earth began. – Proverbs 8:22-23

You see, we simply cannot deny that God put us into the care, good or bad, of our parents. We also can’t deny that God, intimately knowing you before earth began, appointed you to your parents. God is involved in both choices of parents to children and children to parents. There is nothing random about it! We had no say in the transaction.

Rather, God, in his wisdom, has appointed us to our parents, knowing fully that he will establish the commandment to honor them without hesitation and reservation. And that this commandment comes with a two-fold promise — all will go well with you and that you may have a long life on the earth.

But still, the question of forgiveness for our mom’s and dad’s abuse is unanswered for millions of hurting children of all ages, churched or unchurched.

I do want to address child abuse for those children who are still adolescent. It is not dishonoring to mom or dad if you seek help. This is for those children who are being physically or sexually abused by one or both parents. Speak to a pastor, teacher, school counselor, or coach. These people are required by law to notify Child Protective Services. Your safety is of utmost importance!

But for adult children, whereby we have moved out from mom’s and dad’s house, or perhaps they’re deceased. It’s not that forgiveness is optional. Rather, it is a necessity! Forgiving them is also about honoring them.

Many years ago, while living in Antioch, California, I invited my mother over to have a conversation. It was my plan to recall all the abuse that I had suffered by her hand.

It was just me and mom, sitting together in my home office when I began to unload on her. I was not angry or hard on my mom. I spoke from my heart and carefully described my hurts and scars.

Beginning at age 18 months old, I recalled quite accurately the violent physical abuse my little body suffered in the fit of her rage. I continued each remembrance, each story, as though it had just occurred; from 18 months through my 18th year! At the end of each story, with tears of remembrance traversing my bearded face, I said:

“Mom, I forgive you.”

… My mother just sat there, emotionless, and then replied:

“I don’t remember any of that.”

While her response was painful, I was not completely dispirited. You see, because my forgiveness wasn’t just for her, it was for me, too. While my exchange with mom was difficult, it came from my heart, not to condemn her, but to restore her—to restore us. To move the offense out of the way between mother and son. So that I could love her again. I didn’t need her permission to forgive her, as it was me letting go of all her hurtful acts.

Another twelve years would pass before my mother confessed and agreed to her abusive behavior. Her awakening happened just a few short days before she passed on Mother’s Day, May 11, 2008. It was just my mom and me again, but this time we met in her home. Unquestionably, God was there with mother and son. Both our hearts were tenderized by her battle with pancreatic cancer and softened by God’s mercy and grace. I again forgave my mother, and she humbly accepted my forgiveness as I accepted hers.

How do you know you have forgiven? When you can love them again.

It’s humanly impossible for us to forgive those who have treacherously abused or wronged us. Forgiveness is only possible through God’s grace and empowerment from Jesus Christ. And through Him, we can love again those who have wounded us with broken bones and shattered hearts. It’s called Agape Love — the love of God working in and through us.

My mother didn’t deserve my forgiveness, God required it of me. He knew it would bless me with a good and long life on earth. It was my opportunity to honor my mother. Grace, mercy, forgiveness, and God’s love are what triumphed here. It is what empowered me to do the impossible, which was to forgive my abuser—my own mother.

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!” – Isaiah 49:15

Just a few days before my mom’s death, God rembeberd me, and my mom, too. He rescued us both!

Here’s another helpful verse of Scripture written in the last Old Testament book and in the last two verses of the last chapter of Malachi:

“See, I will send the prophet Elijah to you before that great and dreadful day of the Lord comes. He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children and the hearts of the children to their parents; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse.” – Malachi 4:5-6

God softened my heart, and in turn, he softened my mother’s heart. Because of heartfelt forgiveness, my land is no longer cursed. My life is free from bitterness, resentment, and hate. I can honestly say that I miss my mom. She would be 92 years this past February, 25, 2025. Without a doubt, she’s basking in the presence of God, fully forgiven!

What about you? I encourage you, too, to forgive. Even if your parents and abusers are dead. Even more so, forgive them. You see, if they have died, then they’ve met the judge, and justice was measured upon them. All that is left for you is to forgive them and let them go so that you, too, can live well in the land.

Unforgiveness harms no one but yourself. It rots away your present life and eats away at your future. That’s the definition of a cursed life. Kick pride out of your life. It’s killing you! Humble yourself, and God himself will lift you up!

Now you know what to do when parents abuse.

Have courage, my dear friend, trust in God’s Word, and hold tightly to His promises. Though mom or dad may have forgotten you, God never forgets!

Forgiveness is your pathway to living a long and healthy life in the land!

The Fatherless Male – Women’s Desire For Real Men – By Thomas J. Koester

“A wound that is not wept for is a wound, which can not be healed.”

My son Jordan and I listened to several of John Eldredge’s podcasts on the way down to Bakersfield a few years ago. We talked about how good It would be if we could get a weekend retreat scheduled to help men and boys with their brokenness and father hunger.

One thing that Jordan and I have learned in hosting many retreats in the past, is that if a man is to be healed from the father wound, or to draw closer to the heart of God, going to the mountains and spending a little time away from the familiar and from responsibilities provides an excellent environment to find clarity and healing.

There is a clear biblical mandate in scriptures for fathers and sons to turn their hearts towards each other, as written in Malachi 4:5-6 and in Luke 1:17.

Did you know that God closes the Old Testament with Fathers turning their hearts towards their sons, Malachi 4:5-6, and then opens the New Testament with the same message in Luke 1:17? As a matter of fact, a broken and wounded relationship between fathers and sons leads to a cursed life. In turn, a cursed life causes the wounded sons of Adam to detest and avoid the Father Heart of God. And, like Adam, we are driven away from God and cover our nakedness (shame) with a false life and endless pursuits of Eve (the woman).

Eve becomes a surrogate; a pseudo-god in place of the Father Heart of God. Her comfort replaces the comfort from Father God, and her beauty replaces the glory of God. So, man sees his reflection in the woman rather than in God. He grades himself and his masculinity in the responses and opinions he receives from women.

I find it interesting that God created Adam apart from Eve. God walked with Adam for some time before he created and presented the woman to him. If a man is to walk with God; if he is to be fathered by God, he must let go of Eve. He must cease his pursuit for her comfort; for her beauty, and her maternal instinct to satisfy his father hunger.

A woman can not bestow masculinity, nor can her maternal instinct heal the wounded masculine soul. He is father-famished, and mothering this type of wound will further emasculate him, extending his adolescence years and perhaps decades beyond the stage of normal boyhood.

Read the following short conversation between Nullah, a little half breed Aboriginal boy, and Drover, an Australian cattle driver from the movie Australia:

Nullah: You a man, Drover?

Drover: Yeah, I try to be.

Nullah: Sometimes man got to get away from woman.

Drover: Maybe.

Nullah: That’s why you go droving.

Drover: I go droving ’cause that’s my job.

Nullah: If you don’t go droving, you not a man.

Young Nullah has learned from his grandfather, King George, an old Aboriginal man that a boy can not become a man until he leaves his mother and completes his walkabout into the wilderness.

Drover, played by Hugh Jackman, later explains to Lady Sarah Ashley, played by Nicole Kidman, that Nullah needs to go on walkabout and that without ceremony (walkabout) the boy will have no love in his heart, he’ll have nothing; no dreaming, no story, and no country.

And this is the problem with our culture. Boys do not, in a healthy way, detach from the woman, which should be initiated by the father’s invitation. The ceremony between father and son never happens, and so, the son remains a boy with no love in his heart, no dreaming, no story, and no country or belonging. As a matter of fact, for far too many boys, there is no father to speak of. And so, men awkwardly and inappropriately remain attached to the woman as mother rather than as an equal. Romance becomes incestuous and confusing, as men become seekers of mothers rather than partners.

I have firsthand experience with this. You see, I lived a parent-child relationship for the first fifteen years of my marriage to Toni. It was a wise counselor, Jim Matthews, who pointed this out to Toni and I during a crisis therapy session. Oddly, Toni was the mother I’d always wanted, and I was the son she wanted to fix and mother. I was terribly unfathered and a broken man. We almost lost our marriage many times throughout those first fifteen years.

At one point, Toni stepped out in faith and ceased mothering me, which allowed me to fail or succeed until I became the man she needed and deserved. Without my wife acting as my mother, I had to grow up, or I’d lose my family of three sons and one daughter. My legacy and my children’s future were at stake.

In a miraculous way, and due to the courage of my wife, I became the man, husband, and father my family needed and deserved. This is why I have written this article, to tell others that change is possible, even in the most damaged life or marriage, there is hope and healing. My good friends, Dustin Scott Guerrero and his wife Angie Orlando-Guerrero also have an amazing and beautiful story of healing and restoration that is powerful and inspiring. Their’s is the kind of story that would make an amazing Hollywood movie!

You see, a real woman does not want a grown man to follow her around like a lost boy or puppy. When the cuteness wears off, she awkwardly becomes a mother, rather than a lover of a true man. Relationships become difficult when a man can not give, but is in contestant need to receive.

A man must detach from Eve in order to become attached to the Father Heart of God. Without a father in the life of a boy, the boy becomes lost and wounded. When the boy ages into adulthood, without initiation and ceremony, he hides his unfathered and boyish heart with the fig leaves of false masculinity and posing.

Wounded boys and men like this need healing. Jordan and I have witnessed the miracle of healing and restoration of men’s hearts to the Father Heart of God in the space of a few days. God can and does heal by just one word. After all, did not God speak the world into existence by the Word of his power?

“For He spoke, and all things came into being. A single command from His lips and all creation obeyed and stood its ground.” –Psalms 33:9

“His Son is the radiance of his glory, the very image of his substance, and upholding all things by the word of his power, when he had by himself purified us of our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high…” –Hebrews 1:3

Yes, God can do a miracle in a man’s soul with one word!

Also, do you see the connection between “His Son is the radiance of his glory,” and “you, being, or becoming His son,” reflecting his radiance? This is something that only the Father-God can do. This is not the woman’s place or role in a man’s life.

A real woman desires a real man. However, so many women have settled for boys trapped inside the body of a man and so become mothers. This cycle repeats itself over and over again. Women searching for real men and real men searching for real women, but finding only the adolescent forms of what whole men and women should be. Only God can stop this cycle, and it starts with the healing of father wounds in the hearts of men and women.

The enemy has spoken words of power also, and so stricken and wounded the hearts of people by using wounded fathers and mothers, too, to wound the heart and soul of their offspring. Thus perpetuating cursed boys and girls, which grow up with insatiable (impossible to satisfying) desires, or appetites for sex and drugs, or eating disorders. The hole is a God sized hole, which only his wholeness can fill. But since many significant wounds originate with the father or mother, they are driven away from the Father Heart of God and the nurturing and maternal presence of the Holy Spirit.

John Eldredge, author and speaker, wrote the following:

“A wound that is not wept for is a wound, which can not be healed.”

And so, we live a life without tears, without compassion and love for our own wounded hearts and souls. We all die silently while God has delivered to us our only remedy, that is, Jesus Christ.

“I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” said Jesus –John 14:6.

The Father is the principal destination, and the Son is the vehicle, or passage way to the heart of Abba-God. (Abba is Hebrew for: Papa or Da-da, an endearing term for Father).

“For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” –Romans 8:15

“Because you are now part of God’s family, He sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts; and the Spirit calls out, “Abba, Father.” –Galatians 4:6

For those who have the Water of Life, start watering. For those of you, my dear friends, and those whom I’ve not had the pleasure of meeting, drink deeply from the Water of Life, and you will never go thirsty again.

Jesus said, “… Anyone who drinks the water I give will never thirst—not ever. The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life.” –John 4:14

If you want to hear more about this amazing Water and the Father Heart of God, message me, or ask for it from others who are drinking from this Well of Life and who are acquainted with the Abba of Jesus.

Don’t remain in slavery, and do not give into fear, but receive the Spirit of Life, of adoption into the family of God — into the Father-Heart of God.

Do not silently hide, or dismiss your heart, become the man you were meant to become, and simply pray and ask God to father you in the way you should go, and you will find peace and wholeness.

Our God is no deadbeat, Dad, but the Everlasting Father, Wonderful Counselor, the Mighty God, and the Prince of Peace! –Isaiah 9:6

Becoming a true and whole man is what every real woman desires — she’s after the authentic you!

My Name Is Shame

The Loss of Identity & Worth

By Thomas J. Koester

Hello, my name is Shame.

Well, this is what I thought my name was—not because my mom and dad called me Shame, but somehow, in their inflection—when they used my real name—shame is what I had felt. Shame is my earliest memory—which, believe it or not, I was only eighteen months old!

In the spring of 1961, I was a toddler, sitting on my highchair in Paramus, New Jersey, about to eat my very first peanut butter sandwich. My mom had skillfully cut the crust away and segmented my sandwich into four small squares. I remember staring at the plate mom placed on my stainless steel highchair tray. I guess I’m supposed to eat it, so I curiously picked up a square, oozing with peanut butter, and touched it to my lips and tongue. My immediate reaction was to curl my mouth and retract my tongue in disgust while drooling the pasty peanut butter from my mouth to my chin.

Without provocation, my mom grabbed the sandwich square, mauled it into a ball, grabbing my chubby cheeks so hard it forced my mouth to open. She then, with an angry face, tightly gritted teeth, she began shoving the sandwich into my little and nearly toothless mouth, pushing so hard it caused me to choke, gasping for air! Suddenly, my gag reflex kicked in, and I threw up milk and whatever else made it to my stomach all over the highchair tray!

Suddenly, and shockingly, my mom slapped me so hard, me and the highchair nearly tipped over! For what seemed like minutes, or at least until my breath came back into my tiny lungs, I let out a blood curdling scream! While being confused and terrified, my mother slapped me again for crying. To this day, I still hate peanut butter sandwiches.

As an eighteen-month old toddler, I couldn’t process that event in any other way than to conclude something is terribly wrong with me. And this is what shame does; It robs you of your identity and lessens your self-worth. You don’t even know it’s happening, especially if you’re raised in a house of shame.

I have so many of these kinds of memories that it could easily fill an entire book! I will, however, share one more childhood memory of shame for context.

Don’t Pee Outside!

One summer day when I was a normal seven year old boy, one of my siblings tattled on me, reporting to mom:

“Tommy peed outside!”

My mom quickly called me inside to the kitchen, where she did most of her interrogations;

“Did you pee outside?”

—Sitting across the table was my mom’s best friend, Gloria Martin—

With fear and trepidation, I cautiously nodded my head, yes. My mom’s angry face was enough for me to repent, but by seven, I had learned that this was the precursor to shame and abuse.

My mother reached towards the left side of our kitchen table and grabbed a small pair of curved pedicure scissors. Simultaneously, she commanded me to pull down my pants. She then yanked down my underwear, exposing my penis in front of Mrs. Martin.

Mother grabs my penis, stretching it out, and with the scissors in her left-hand proceeds, or at least convinced me she was going to cut it off! I was brutally shamed and abused. Although, as a seven year old little boy, my faculty of reason was undeveloped. I could only interpret the abuse and shame that something is incurably wrong with me. That, and hundreds of days like it, might be the reason my name, Tommy, Tom, or Thomas, was replaced with the name, Shame.

I think chronically shaming a person is similar to murder. I’m not a forensic pathologist nor a psychologist, but isn’t murder when you premeditatedly end the life of a human being? Shame kills identity and destroys self-worth. Shame replaces the spark of life and light with darkness and a desire to cease living.

Several years ago, I was investigating a burned out office building in Berkeley, California. Everything was darkly sooted and smelled heavily of smoke and ash. I was there to measure the fire and smoke damage for an insurance company. As I was photographing each room, I entered one office that had several floor to ceiling shelves filled with books. All the books were heavily sooted and many soaked with water by the fire department. Except, one book, which stuck out a bit. Puzzled as to why this book was so clean, I pulled the book from the shelf. On the cover was a mother sitting on a chair with two small murdered children under one arm and a knife in her other hand. The title of the book:

“Soul Murder – Child Abuse and Deprivation” By LL Shengold – 1989

Needles to say, I had to read it!

To summarize the book a bit:

“Soul murder involves the deliberate traumatization or deprivation by an authority (parent) of his charge (child). The victim is robbed of his identity and of the ability to maintain authentic feelings. Soul murder remains effective if the capacity to think and to know has been sufficiently interfered with—by way of brainwashing – Paradoxically, in order to survive and adjust, some of these people so traumatized as children develop unusual strengths and gifts.”

While this book is highly clinical, I began to unravel and understand what eighteen years living in a house of shame and abuse did to me. Tommy, Tom, or Thomas was soul murdered and the imposter, named Shame had taken his place.

This is not a hopeless story. Yes, it had been a story of physical and psychological abuse and years of despair and deprivation. But my story is actually very much hope-filled. I hope the telling of my story may be the catalyst for you, too, to find hope and healing.

My Safe House

Almost every spy thriller or story of espionage has a safe house. Well, at ten years old, I had my safe house, too. Only, it’s not the safe house of spy movies, filled with firearms, passports, and bags of currency. Nope, my safe house was church!

Church was the only place my mother couldn’t hurt me—even if she was within a swift and accurate backhand to my face, she wouldn’t dare strike me. I learned that Church was not only a safe place for an abused little boy but also a safe place for fake and phony people, like my mommy dearest. Churches rarely will preach, if at all, against child abuse within the home. I think partly because far too many pastors abuse their own families for the sake of “ministry.”

One thing you learn in a shamed-based family is that sometimes moms or both parents will use their children as props. For some children, like me, being a “prop” can destroy your sense of “me” to where you are nothing more than an image or an appendage of your mother. If it sounds incestuous, then you’re correct because it is. It doesn’t have to be sexual in nature to be incestuous. For me, it meant that I, along with my siblings, were used for our mother’s psychological and physical pleasure. We were all adornments that added to our mother’s glittering image. We were less than human. We were little shame-bots who obeyed our mother’s abusive shaming tactics.

There was no greater day of the week for my mother to excel in her fakery than on Sunday. Sunday was my mother’s morning masquerade! She would dress us five boys with button-down shirts, ties, sports coats, spit-polished wingtip shoes, and our hair plastered perfectly with Dippity-doo hair gel of the Sixties and Seventies! My little and only sister was dressed like Shirley Temple! Boy, but we were a real hit in Church! We looked, and, albeit forcibly so, played our parts as the “perfect Christian family” like trained little monkeys!

The fake “perfect Christian family” persona only hid the shame and abuse of all six of us siblings. While Church was my safe house, just like safe houses in spy thrillers, sooner or later, the bad guys crash it. Somehow, my mommy dearest found a way of shaming me in Church with a look that said, “wait till I get you home!”

My New Name

With the name, Shame, so indelibly written into my psyche, a name and identity change were impossible for me. Even though I became a Christian at my safe house, Bethany Baptist Church in Martinez, California, nothing changed in the Koester House of Shame.

I want you to understand that it’s not the house of shame in a family or church that needs to change. We do. Yes, some churches can become a house of shame also. After all, churches are made up of families, too, and ideally, are to become one healthy family. However, like dysfunctional and shamed-based families, sadly, some churches and religious organizations can also be shame-based. You should remove yourself from a shamed-based family and church in order to get healthy.

When you get healthy and free from a shame-based culture, family, or church, you will make healthier decisions, and you’ll see more clearly. Clearly enough to walk with God and maybe a godly counselor and begin the healing process.

My New Life

As I began to grow in my faith and reading of Scripture, I learned that my real worth and identity come from my Creator, God. In spite of what many people believe, God is not the “great shamer” in the sky. He’s not abusive or unjust. When Jesus of Nazareth began his public ministry, he walked into a synagogue, opened up a scroll handed to him, and read the following from the Prophet Isaiah:

“The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me because the LORD has anointed me; he has sent me to preach good tidings unto those who are cast down; to bind up the wounds of the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those that are bound; to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; to order in Zion those that mourn, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of despair.”

When I first read this, light came bursting into my darkened prison cell of shame! You see, Church is not an end to a means, but the means to an end of shame and abuse. Church is where I met the God of my Salvation and the Healer of my murdered soul! A good and healthy Church not only preaches the Gospel (“Gospel” is a Greek word used in the Bible, which means “Good News”). But a healthy church is a fellowship and family of broken people becoming whole together. It’s not a recovery group, per se; it’s a group of humble people living a restored and recovered life! Jesus himself promised that if we believe him, we will have life:

“The thief’s purpose is to steal, kill, and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fullness.” –John 10:10

“Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.” –John 11:25

Do you see how this is such good news to a broken, abused, and shamed little boy, as me?

God took away the imposter’s name of Shame and bestowed a new name upon me; I am God’s restored and Beloved Son! He healed my broken heart, set me free from captivity, opened my prison doors of shame and despair, and resurrected my murdered soul! My identity and worth is better than restored—I’m a new creation—fully pardoned for all my sins and clothed in Jesus’s righteousness. I’m no longer dressed to impress my mother, her peers, or her friends.

I AM FREE!

My name is Thomas James Koester

Shame no longer lives here!

Tears of Sweet Nothing – The Unseen One – By Thomas J. Koester

“You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn, through the sleepless nights, each tear entered in your ledger, each ache is written in your book.” –Psalms 56:8

“He has not forgotten the one who is hurting. He has not turned away from his suffering. He has not turned his face away from him. He has listened to his cry for help.” –Psalms 22:24

Our family consisted of eight people, and we lived in our tiny 1400-square-foot, four-bedroom, two-bath home in a housing development in Martinez, CA. I lived there from late 1965 until July 1978.

During those years, I was forced to share a bedroom with my older brother Jeffrey, who is only sixteen months older than me. I had always thought it was a mistake for our parents to room Jeffery and me together, as we constantly fought and were at each other’s throats!

But at the same time, we were both there for each other, especially after we both were terribly beaten, sometimes separately, and at times together, we were lashed, punched, or kicked. During Those moments, Jeffrey and I would become friends and assuage each other’s wounds or share our complaints and anger about what had happened and the unfairness of it all. And maybe our brief times of fellowship and friendship were based on the principle: “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” Still, Jeffrey helped me as my older brother by caring for me when I was abused.

At times, we’d become fellow cellmates, imprisoned in our bedroom together for hours or perhaps for an entire day. However, I think Jeffrey had it much worse than me, if you can believe it!

At ten years of age, my life began to exhibit evidence of being soul murdered. Although physically alive, my trust and sense of safety were nearly gone. I was incapable of bonding and receiving love or belonging to anyone. The hole this created in me was too broad and deep for any human to fill. I was unwanted and unloved. The abuse was so horrific that it impacted my identity.

During those abusive years, I developed new titles: The Discarded One, The Disgraceful One, and the Unwanted One, which began to dictate my life and identity. My mother bestowed those titles upon me during her fits of rage.

I became a lost boy, un-fathered and un-mothered by nurture and love. My home was my house of horrors. I found solace in living a secret life of fantasy and daydreaming, similar to the 1947 movie with Danny Kaye called: “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.”

In elementary school, I would sit there, daydreaming of some incredible feat or be far away on a voyage to uncharted islands of mystery. I always imagined myself as the hero.

After my father had passed away, I found a bundle of old report cards. One report card from my second-grade teacher, Mrs. Dodd, stood out. On the back of the report card was written a personal note to my parents:

“Thomas just seems to sit here in class, daydreaming.”

Growing up, you were always guilty in our home and never allowed the opportunity to plead your innocence. Even if one of my siblings tattled on me, it would often end up with a beating or punishment. The only thing protecting each of us from excessive tattling was the military doctrine of “Mutual Assured Beatings!” Even the tattler could be swept up in our mother’s rage, suffering a beating, too! So, we used tattling sparingly.

This created a hypersensitivity to injustice, yet I felt powerless to do anything about it. Even today, I am acutely sensitive to injustice against myself and others.

“Fate, it seems, is not without its sense of irony,” said Morpheus in the movie, “The Matrix.”
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Like Neo, the movie’s central character, he was powerless and a slave to a programmed existence. My “sense of irony” showed up in my career choices. I believe my sensitivity to injustice is why I have successfully settled claims on behalf of fire and water damage victims. I am empathetic to individuals and families being abused by Impersonal insurance companies that place shareholders above policyholders.

So, unknown to me, the terrible injustice I suffered as a child had fatefully trained me for my vocation. Perhaps it is more likely that the sense of irony is not fate, but rather, I became attracted to my career choices because of parental abuse and their unjust treatment.

Had there been an actual “Morpheus” in my life, it would have been so helpful to extricate me from the matrix of horrors. But, in fact, there was. This is why my hopeless story is so hope-filled. The name “Morpheus” actually means: ‘He who shapes.’ As you read on, you will learn through my story that there has indeed been, and continues to be, a “Morpheus” in my life.

Nevertheless, an undeniable force is shaping me through a maze of pain and struggle of good and bad days to a present joy-filled life, which now I would never trade or abandon. It would be like saying to a diamond, “Turn back into coal,” or to a pearl, “Turn back into a grain of sand.” I’m still in the “rough,” so to speak, and in between two extremes: the lightness of joy and contentment and the weightiness of pain and agony.

This precise pressure point masterfully creates diamonds of joy and the pearls of contentment within my life. Pain is never the product of this process, but joy and happiness are. Pain and agony are elements necessary to produce “suffering,” which produces eternal qualities and degrees of character that can not be developed in any other way.

So, in a nutshell, “Don’t waste your suffering!” It is the process of suffering that can lead to a fulfilling life! And so it is, I believe, for you, too. Your story is not an endless season of reruns but of purposeful and significant meaning.

“Rest, the answers are coming…” Said Morpheus to a perplexed and doubting Thomas Anderson at the beginning of his transformation into “Neo.”

By the way, you are transforming, and what that is will be revealed in time. The process you are in may be painful and even hopeless, but everything good and true, of worth and value, comes with pain and suffering. It is all a part of living and transforming. Until then, my dear friend, “Rest, the answers are coming…”

Be brave enough to journey into your past. Not alone like you have so many times before; no, this time, journey back with God. Invite Him into your past as your guide, comforter, and healer. Ask Him for wisdom and understanding. Then, prepare yourself to forgive those who’ve wounded and harmed you. Forgiveness is pivotal. Without it, you’ll remain imprisoned and tormented.

This was the journey that I took and am still on. This is how I learned the importance of forgiveness and the value of tears. Tears are the beginning of transforming from The Unseen One to God’s Beloved One.

God bless you on your journey!

Real Hope For A Hopeless America – By Thomas Koester

The hope that is in every believer is real hope for a hopeless America.

We need to find our place in His Story so that we can leave our mark in history.

The Nazi-Socialist and their sick eugenics are alive and well in America. Their aim is a “perfect society” through science and political power.

Abortion was originally, according to Margret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood, a form of “depopulating the blacks from society.” Just like the Nazis dehumanized Jews, Gays, Gypsies, and Christians, Margret Sanger, and her “Planned Parenthood” cohorts have dehumanized the unborn, especially the unborn of color. Now, since its inception, abortion has killed nearly 60 million unborn just in America alone.

You see, dictatorial and tyrannical control requires a manageable population. This is not only about the numbers of humans but also the dollars it takes to manage them. Coronavirus was, among many things, about the killing off, or shall I saw more humanely, euthanizing the elderly and the weakest among us. In addition, the killing off of businesses creates general economic ruin and caused melee in our cities and towns.

This was done to usher in a New Economic Order that will require efficiency and dependence. Don’t you realize that we validated their evil trial balloon by our compliance?

Efficiency, that is, a more manageable populace, and a more weakened people lowers the possibility of uncontrollable revolt. This is why patriotism and those patriotic institutions we all love must go. This is why “The Good Ole American Way” has been under assault. This is why football, baseball, basketball, and soccer have been ruined, and our American flag and our National Anthem desecrated. This is what’s behind the destruction of women’s sports! Everything that makes us America is slowly canceled and removed in order to take away our identity and patriotism.

All of this is not new. It’s how every great nation before us has fallen. The coronavirus was simply the mechanism the Left used to take away many of our freedoms and liberties. It was used to divide us and subjugate us to lawless mandates. The virus also preoccupied us, giving the Democratic Left cover for the grandest theft of all times, the Presidency of the United States, and to control all houses of government, both federal and local.

These things were necessary in order to usher in the New World Order and the “New Economy.” Or, as the Globalists have renamed it, “The Great Reset.”

We do not wrestle against flesh and blood, is hard to grasp, when we see so many bad actors in our government and news media outlets. So we have to remind ourselves daily that this is foremost a spiritual battle, which has brazenly manifested itself in the world of men.

There is no question as to where this is all heading. Godly men and leaders, such as pastors, reverends, and priests no longer have the luxury of the status quo of a typical Sunday service or Mass. It’s time to raise up armies of intercessors and train and equip God’s people in evangelism and spiritual warfare!

“It means buckle your seatbelt, Dorothy, ’cause [America] is going bye-bye.”

If we want America to survive, the Church must become the standard-bearer once again. It must lead America back to God, or God will allow our nation to spit us out!

But remember, we’re the Church, and our mission is to proclaim the Gospel of the Kingdom. The Kingdom Gospel puts things in the right order without the aid of political power. As a matter of fact, the Church is most powerful under persecution.

When the Roman armies occupied First Century Israel and all of Palestine, did it deter Christianity, or did it propel it?

We know the answer—persecution became the Early Church’s rocket fuel and launched the Church into world evangelism!

“… And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come.” – Matthew 24:14

We know what our mission is. It’s not to cower in fear or shirk our responsibility or to proclaim that the rapture cometh. It is to stand fast, hold our ground; keep the faith, and engage darkness with the might and power of God of the Angel Armies. It is to preach the Gospel of the Kingdom and unleash the power of the Gospel, that is, The Good News against the Bad News of World Socialism.

If we die, it’s gain. If we live, it’s Christ, the power of God unto salvation. Let’s show and offer the World Jesus Christ. Let’s all become Jesus with skin on and hold fast to the attitude, humility, and power of Christ.

Whether we are free or in bondage, our job is to be the Church and the Triumphant Bride of Christ.

Like you, I don’t want to disappoint Jesus when he returns. I want him to not only find faith on earth but to find a bright, beautiful, and radiant bride!

So, come what may! The Devil and his minions will do their worst. The Church, we will do our best because we have the Spirit of Christ, the love for Truth, and have love for one another, or at least we should.

We will win because God has already won the victory in Jesus Christ, our Risen Savior, King of Kings, and Lord of Lords. The ending of the story has already been written. Just make sure that your names are written in the Lambs Book of Life, and all will go well.

We need to find our place in His Story so that we can leave our mark in history.

The hope that is in every believer is real hope for a hopeless America. Amen

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE | FAITH AWAKENING – BY THOMAS J. KOESTER

Because asking “how” is the faithless question.

The correct question believers should be asking when it comes to obeying God is—is it impossible?

Would you happen to know why?

Because it’s rare. It’s a question that heaven rarely hears. But it is precisely the right question that we should be asking. The Word says in Hebrews 11:6 the following:

“… And without faith, it is impossible to please God,”

To start with, the impossible, I believe, is very stirring to the heart of God. When we approach God with faith enough to join Him in His impossible work, we say, “I trust you so much that the details don’t matter.” The challenges don’t detour me. The dangers won’t stop me. These “faith qualities” are what God is after in you and in me, too.

Here’s the rest of Hebrews 11:6

“… because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”

So, start with the impossible—the most difficult, the most unlikely, and even the most ridiculous. Only be sure you’re following God’s Word and His will. God wants to reward you with each impossible step you take.

Faith is not what you can do but what you can’t do. It’s not where you can go but where you can’t go. Faith moves you towards the impossible, or it’s not faith!

How many biblical stories have you read whereby God sends his man or woman to face impossible odds?

God’s missions are not missions unless they are impossible by human standards. But you’ll never know until your faith meets your obedience to his will and purpose.

Belief in God is not only about his existence but more about your obedience to his calling on your life.

If we can not see the Father’s works, it’s because we’re too wrapped up in our own work- and yes, this can include “church work!” We may not need faith for our work, but we can only do God’s work by faith.

Christian populism and “the power of positive thinking” have diminished faith to mere “tips and techniques” or following “principles” without a relationship to the Prince of Peace.

His work often makes us risk our comfort and, sometimes, our safety. His will requires passionate courage to obey. Our work brings enslavement, sweat, and, at times, depression and boredom. Many of us are killing ourselves for a paycheck!

… Is that how you dreamt you’d live your life, running after a paycheck?

If we believe and obey God and join him in his work, we will no longer live as enslaved people but as free people.

“Wherever the Spirit of God is, there is freedom!” – 2 Corinthians 3:17

Freedom to move towards adventure and risk with God is core to walking by faith with him.

As noted, the author, John Eldridge, has penned;

“Asking God, how? … Is a faithless question.”

Obeying God and following his will means God has already worked out the ” how. ” Trusting God with the unknown details and acting on his will without knowing “how” is the definition of faith.

God’s will for us must become as essential as eating food. To move in faith, we must become vitality dependent on God’s will and preplanned purpose.

“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.” – John 4:34

“For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother.” – Matthew 12:50

Jesus answered, “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” – John 14:23

Faith and obedience lead to closeness with God. Asking Him “how” all the time before you obey shows you don’t trust Him. So, stop asking faithless questions! You can’t exercise faith apart from an intimate relationship with the Father and the Son. You’ll need the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit to do the impossible!

If you try and do things apart from knowing God, you’ll be in danger of practicing lawlessness or unauthorized acts of whatever you call “righteousness.”

“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’ – Matthew 7:21-23

“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit, for apart from me, you can do nothing.” – John 15:5

Find where God’s Spirit is working and go there quickly and passionately. Only there can you do the impossible and find a real and meaningful life.

Ask yourself, do I need God to accomplish this? The answer may require you to do the impossible…

“… That is your mission if you choose to accept it.”

Be brave. God’s equipped you for the impossible mission!

Standing In The Gap – By Thomas J. Koester

Can one man or one woman make a difference?

Standing in the gap for our nation has nothing to do with complaining, talking, podcasting, or even simple prayers. The word “Intercessor” is made up of two words:

(Inter) meaning: “between” and (ced) meaning: “go.”

To intercede literally means to go and get between God and the need. It means to actually stand in the empty void until God steps in and fills the need.

It is real labor and a deep spiritual endeavor and undertaking of intense pleading, repenting, and even arguing before God on behalf of others, who are either unwilling or unaware for the need to repent or change. Sometimes, this means going to a logistical place and filling the breach in a wall until restoration and revival begins.

Several years ago, a pastor commented about his disappointment with the decision by the Supreme Court, which redefined marriage. His concern, as I’m sure is the concerns of many pastors across the nation, was lawsuits and possible jail time for refusing to officiate certain marriages.

“Maybe I’ll just refuse to do any marriages,” the pastor sadly opined.

Standing in the gap, or becoming a true intercessor is not to abandon culture or society, or to abandon marriage rites altogether, but is to “go between,” even if it means lawsuit or jail time.

Standing in the gap is costly, and true intercession is not a quiet and passive endeavor, but stepping in and between the offenses of men, or even the offenses of a nation and the God of justice, righteousness, and holiness. It is indeed costly!

Daniel was such a man, which bravely stood in the gap of his time.

If you recall, prayer and worship, in public or in private to Jehovah, or any other god for that matter, was outlawed by King Darius. Unscrupulous men of the King’s court had encouraged the King to enact a law (sounds familiar) forbidding any prayer or worship for thirty days.

Daniel, being a continual intercessor for the return of his banished people to Israel, refused to cease his prayers to God. He faithfully prayed three times a day towards Jerusalem near his window, as he had regularly done. But these crafty men had set up surveillance, waiting for the man of God to violate the King’s edict. Having arrested Daniel, they brought him before the King.

Regrettably, as the King had been unknowingly coerced by these evil men to enact the law, the King had no other option but to pass judgment on Daniel, sentencing him to death by caged ferocious lions.

Even in this, Daniel did not waiver in his commitment to intercede or to even apologize for his violation of the new law.

Spoiler alert — When Daniel was tossed into the lion’s den, the lions acted like kittens. When King Darius saw that Daniel’s God had saved him, the King realized that he was duped by the men in his court, and so orders the immediate release of Daniel. The King, now being furious with the men of his court, orders them to be immediately tossed into the lion’s den, where they were instantly torn apart and devoured by the lions.

God saves and protects his intercessors! Did you hear that? God saves his intercessors!

WHERE ARE THE DANIELS OF OUR DAY!?!

Where are the pastors who are willing to go to jail because they stood in the gap against the gods of our culture?

Where are the everyday men and women who’ll stand in the gap for the dismembered unborn!?!

Where are the men and women who will stand in the gap for the fatherless, homeless, or alien, illegal or not in need of salvation?

Where are the evangelists and preachers proclaiming God’s redemptive word in the streets and marketplaces?

Where are the voices of 70.6% of 318 million Christians in America!?!

The darkness is so vivid that even the smallness of true faith can brighten a single city!

WHERE ARE THE FAITHFUL OF THE LAND?

Where is the authority of the believer?

Our silence and passivity have reached heaven. The cries of the unborn and the blood of their partially born dismembered bodies have reached the eyes and ears of the God of Creation. The lost and abandoned children of our cities and towns have reached the courts of God. America’s sins will not go unpunished.

If the sinners will not repent, it is time for the people of God to repent in their stead and stand in the gap, even for the unrighteous acts of our great land!

In all of this, God is still looking for men and women to stand in the gap; to risk time, treasure, and talent; and, if necessary, blood, sweat, and tears for the Good News of the Kingdom.

Diabolic means to “divide” (di) and “abolish” (abolic) – di-abolic. To divide and abolish. It is literally the opposite of the word intercessor!

Can you not see what is happening before our very eyes? Every sector of our culture and society is being divided and abolished, including history, children, family, marriage, sex/gender, education, justice; race, religion, etc.

The evil in our nation is diabolic and is a serious spiritual virus, spreading like an airborne pathogen, infecting the very soul and foundations of our nation and people.

Intercessors in our nation, cities, towns, and villages must stand in this gap and reestablish what darkness has divided and abolished. Fill in the gaps of the moral and spiritual holes in our nation’s walls.

“So I sought for a man among them who would make a wall, and stand in the gap before Me on behalf of the land, that I should not destroy it; but I found no one.” Ezekiel 22:30

Can one man make a difference? According to Ezekiel, one man or woman can!

Christ made the difference by his standing in the gap between the just wrath of God against the sins of mankind. Christ was hung on a vertical alter, pointing all people towards the God of Heaven.

Because of what Christ achieved, God exalted his Son to the highest honor and now sits on the right side of God’s throne.

You, too, are seated in heavenly places with Christ and because of Christ.

Do you know how much authority you have in Christ at this very moment?

Be that man or woman, young or old, and stand in the gap on behalf of the lost and our land.

Silence the diabolic and divider with the heart of an intercessor and stand in the gap! AMEN

Beautiful Scars – By Thomas Koester

Don’t Hide Your Scars, They Just May Save A Life!

If you’ve seen the football movie, “The Replacements,” then you may be familiar with Shane Falco’s (Keanu Reeves) iconic quote:

“Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever.”

—Vince McKewin

Scars, are for some people, important symbols of heroism, bravery, and sacrificial achievements. But for many, scars are unfortunate circumstances of abuse, violence, rape, and simply being in the wrong place at a wrong moment.

The truth is, scars, whether bourn on or inside our bodies can, become a force for good. We all know and have experienced healing from pain, pain of broken bones, cuts, wounds, and emotional hurt. Thank God that he designed our bodies to heal itself. But not completely, right? Many wounds leave scar tissue. Even emotional wounds, wounds of the heart and mind can leave scarring.

Our scars all have stories behind them. For example, during the years of my youth, I played outside every summer break, doing dangerous stuff that kids do. Falling from trees, crashing bicycles, jumping ramps, doing all sorts of daredevil stuff, had scarred me up from head to toe! But I wouldn’t want to grow up any other way! Many of those childhood scars are still visible and still to this day tell many stories and fond, but painful memories.

Your scars, physical or emotional, also has stories. Some stories, I’m sure you don’t want to remember. But nonetheless, they happened, good or bad. But here’s something to give a little thought to; beneath your scars may be a hidden glory. How can that be? You may ask. Yes, I know you may not be a former all-pro football player; you don’t have to be a sports star or hero for your scars to add glory to your life.

Scars may be indicative of a well lived life or an indication of being human and vulnerable. A mother, for instance, bears the scars of childbirth, and each stretch mark represents the growth of new life within her, which she selflessly endured for her child. Her children, born to her, arrived during painful, agonizing labor, and, are a significant glory to her life. I don’t understand it as a man, but as soon as that baby is born, a mother’s face lights up with joy. Her joy miraculously replaces the pain and labor of birthing.

I’m thinking of a Bible verse, located somewhere, I think, in the book of Hebrews. Okay, I found it…

Hebrews 12:2 tells very clearly:

“… He who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

This verse says Jesus focused on “the joy” that was set before Him as He endured the agony of crucifixion. He knew of the glory that was to be set upon him for his sacrifice. And he was crucified publicly. Wow!

I’ve spent too much time and energy trying to hide my scars, especially my emotional scars – scars of inner pain deep within the womb of the heart; scars of hurt, betrayal, and abuse. I’ve learned that healing isn’t the removal of such scars but accepting them and humbly wearing them like chevrons or stripes on my shoulders, indicating my rank and experience with pain.

My scars, hidden or not, are my carte blanche, approved by God. When God permits, my scars allow me to act as someone else’s wounded healer. Don’t be ashamed of your scars. Scaring means that you’ve survived, and maybe your survival and scars have a divine purpose for others. In other words, perhaps God masterfully ordained your hurt and pain so that your body, mind, and heart may produce abundant life and healing beyond yourself.

One day, as we pass from this life, we will see the scars planted on Jesus because of our sins. We will know then the significance of his scars as never before. We will have perfect clarity that our ultimate healing has come from those scars, and all our present pain and tears will be wiped away forever.

“But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes, we are healed.” – Isaiah 53:5

Have you heard the song, Scars?

Lyrics By: I Am They
from the album: Trial & Triumph

“We came up to a new sunrise
Looking back from the other side
I can see now with open eyes
Darkest water and deepest pain
I wouldn’t trade it for anything
Because my brokenness brought me to You

And these wounds are stories You’ll use

So I’m thankful for the scars Because without them, I wouldn’t know Your heart, And I know they always tell of who You are

So forever, I am thankful for the scars

Now I’m standing in confidence
With the strength of Your faithfulness

And I’m not who I was before
Now I don’t have to fear anymore

So I’m thankful for the scars
Cause without them, I wouldn’t know Your heart, And I know they always tell of who You are

So forever, I am thankful for the scars

I can see, I can see
How You delivered me
In Your hands, in Your feet
I found my victory
I can see, I can see
How You delivered me
In Your hands, in Your feet
I found my victory

I’m thankful for Your scars Cause without them, I wouldn’t know Your heart, And with my life, I’ll tell of who You are

So forever, I am thankful

I’m thankful for the scars Cause without them; I wouldn’t know Your heart, And I know they’ll always tell of who You are

So forever, I am thankful for the scars

So forever, I am thankful for the scars.”

Are you scarred body, mind, and heart? If so, you are in good company.

Learn to be thankful for each scar, and suddenly, without notice, what was meant for your harm, will instead produce a harvest of life and healing for others.

Your scars are beautiful!

God’s Children Are Not For Sale – By Thomas Koester

Toni and I saw the movie “Sound of Freedom” a few weeks ago. If this movie doesn’t move a person to action, I really don’t know what will. Child abduction, abandonment, child sex trafficking, and enslavement are horrible stains on America. I can’t think of anything worse!

The title of my article is a direct quote from the Sound of Freedom. “God’s children are not for sale” is a powerful statement that must be heralded worldwide! Yet, there are other statements just as vital that must also be broadcasted; God’s children are not to be aborted! They are not to be abused! They are not to be abandoned! They are not to be molested!

Several years ago, I was invited to speak at a retreat for underprivileged boys. I enjoyed speaking and sharing my message and testimony to the camp. Anthony Vasquez and Jordan Koester also shared their testimonies. I talked about the Father-heart of God and how to become a redeemed and true son. Our Father-God is no dead-beat-dad. He is faithful and true always. These boys needed a positive message about God’s heart for them.

Lots of prayers went out for these boys and the counselors throughout the rest of that week. Many of them do not have dads. I just wanted to bring them home with me and love them as sons, but I told them that God can love them, heal their pain, and father them in the way they should go.

I asked them all a question:

Which would you rather have, a broken leg or a broken heart?

They all replied loudly:

“I’ll take a broken leg!”

This is because most of these boys, unfortunately, already know the pain of a broken heart and how difficult it is for a broken heart to be healed. Our job that weekend was to reveal to these precious lost boys the Healer and Redeemer of the Brokenhearted, which is none other than Jesus Christ.

I shared with them Isaiah chapter 61 and explained how Jesus Christ proclaimed good news to the poor, that he is the Healer of the brokenhearted, and that He came to set the captives and the prisoners free! And that through Jesus, we can become saved, healed, and restored. How good is God’s Word, and How awesome is our God?

God is good, trustworthy, and true! He never fails and is no dead-beat-dad!

He is a True and Faithful Father to lost Sons and Daughters everywhere!

Jesus did amazing work that weekend. He wants you to join him in doing the same work wherever he sends you. Wherever you work, shop, or play. Lost and broken boys may not be born to you, but they can be mentored or even fathered by you.

It doesn’t take a college degree to be a big brother, mentor, or father-type to a fatherless boy. There are also men in their twenties, thirties, and even in their forties that are in desperate need to be fathered and mentored. These boys and men need good father types to help them triumph over the evil that cursed their lives.

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” Edmund Burke

Evil can only triumph in lost boys if you and I do nothing. Boys become lost because their dads did nothing, or worse, ran out on them. Let’s stop evil’s triumph as much as we can. One lost boy at a time!

“God’s children are not for sale!”

Who Is On The Lord’s Side? – By Thomas Koester

Because my side, your side, or their side may be equally wrong.

Frankly, I’m amazed at how many people post and boast about the Lord being in their side. Isn’t it the other way around?

Who is on the Lord’s side?

Are we not a blessed people because we’re on the Lord’s side?

If we post and boast about God being on our side, then His will, which exists in Heaven, is ignored and left undone. Even Jesus taught us how to pray in the right direction…

“…thy will be done on earth as it exists in Heaven,” taught Jesus.

It seems as though the prevailing theme among many “believers” is to pray the opposite of what Jesus taught us.

“My will be done in Heaven as it exists on earth,” is not what Jesus Christ had in mind.

We get our needs met by obeying God, by doing His will; by seeking first the Kingdom of God, and then our essentials will be given to us.

God encouraged Joshua to “Be Strong and Courageous.” This encouragement wasn’t given to Joshua and his buddies so they can get their needs met, but that he would lead God’s people into His promises and for His purposes.

Remember when Joshua and his army crossed the Jordan river? When they got to the other side, they were met by an angel with a bright sword.

“Are you on our side, or the Enemy’s side?” questioned Joshua.

“Neither,” said the Angel, “I am on the Lord’s side.”

Psalm 11 (ERV)

To the director: A song of David.

1 I trust in the Lord, so why did you tell me to run and hide? Why did you say, “Fly like a bird to your mountain?”

2 Like hunters, the wicked hide in the dark. They get their bows ready and aim their arrows. They shoot at good, honest people.

3 What would good people do if the wicked destroyed all that is good?

4 The Lord is in his holy temple. The Lord sits on his throne in heaven. He sees everything that happens. He watches people closely.

5 The Lord examines those who are good and those who are wicked; he hates those who enjoy hurting others.

6 He will make hot coals and burning sulfur fall like rain on the wicked. They will get nothing but hot, burning wind.

7 The Lord always does what is right, and he loves seeing people do right. Those who live good lives will be with him.

Verse 3 says: “What would good people do if the wicked destroy all that is good?” Isn’t this what is exactly happening? The wicked are perverting the rule of law and justice. They are changing the definition of everything which used to be sound and good.

How can we do the good that God has planned for us if we fail to call upon his will and purpose from heaven?

The truth is that you and I, and even the church collectively can do nothing but repent, pray, and turn our hearts towards the God of Heaven and Earth. Our fate is now in the hands of God, as it should be. But alas, had we acted like the people of God in the first place, perhaps things wouldn’t have gotten so off course. Perhaps the people’s fate would be synonymous with the will of God in Heaven.

Perhaps if we would’ve prioritized the Kingdom of Heaven and pursued the Righteousness of Jesus Christ, that his righteousness, being our righteousness would have exalted our Nation. Perhaps the age-old foundations of sound truth and justice would’ve prevailed and withstood the onslaught of such wickedness, and our out of control, wayward government.

Here is some good news. Though they will try, and seemingly succeed in their schemes and wicked plans, the Lord knows what they are up to. He does not blink, nor does he shrug it off. Our God is tirelessly on duty! He will avenge his Truth and His Justice and the innocent of the earth. He will not be mocked, nor will he allow these who pervert all that is good and true to go unpunished.

All we can do at this point is put our whole trust into God and know that He is not like man that he would lie, nor like man, or governments, who make their plans in darkness. Our hope is in the Lord. He is the God of the Angel Armies. We know the end of the story! He is God our Redeemer, Father to the fatherless, to the widowed and to the orphaned, and to the wanderer. He is our shield in times of disaster and adversity. He is our only refuge and our only shelter. We must put our trust and faith in him.

Gird yourselves up in the Lord. Read and understand all the promises of God. Keep Truth and Justice alive in your own hearts, homes, and businesses. Seek the heavenly order of God’s ever-present and ever-expanding Kingdom. Practice righteousness to your neighbors, to your coworkers; at your board rooms and dinner tables.

Practice all that is the opposite to what this evil regime is perpetrating over us. Operate in the opposite spirit. Where there is greed, sow generosity. Where there is hatred, sow love and forgiveness. Where there are lies, sow truth and honesty. Where there is evil, sow what is innocent and pure.

Refuse to become corrupted. Stand in Christ, and only kneel at his feet and not at any despotic or tyrannical government, no matter how benevolent or generous they may appear. This is the sleight of hand that you must become wise to.

“Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Be brave and upright, that God may love thee. Speak the truth always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong; that is your oath.” The Kingdom of Heaven” (Movie)

One other thing… When asked to pray, pray while they are still near you and in your hearing. Why? Because far too many of us say we’ll pray but forget to do so. Maybe saying you’ll pray has become a kind phrase, its just something you say to cheer up hurting people. Or perhaps you use the famous 🙏 🙏 🙏 emojis to simply show support.

What people really need from us is the Lord God, from whose side we’re on. They will benefit from our connectedness to the Lord.

“Be strong and courageous. Be very strong and be very courageous. Do not be dismayed or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua, Chapter One, verse nine.

Who is on the Lord’s side? Who do you choose to serve?

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!

We earnestly pray that God is victorious in his plans, and in so doing, as we join Him in His work. Then our needs are met here on earth, as it exists in Heaven. Amen