What To Do When Parents Abuse – By Thomas J. Koester

“Fathers, don’t irritate your children and make them resentful; instead, raise them with the Lord’s kind of discipline and guidance.” – Ephesians 6:4

When strangers or acquaintances abuse us, it hurts, but not as much as when it’s a sibling, mom, or dad. You see, all of our identity and self-worth are derived from family but especially from our parents. When their abuse is emotional, spiritual, verbal, physical, etc., it attacks the core of our identity.

Toni and I are battling 35 years of abuse with her family, and especially with her parents.

Toni’s father was a pastor for most of Toni’s life. What she encountered as abuse was spiritual and religious in nature, steeped in legalism and perfectionism. Her mother told Toni and her siblings to deny their feelings. To go against instinct – to submit beyond question. To fear fear. Accept failure but to keep quiet. To compromise inner truth for outer fakeness.

My story was filled, as you may know, with physical and violent abuse. I dare say, I prefer the abuse that I endured more than what my dear Toni, has endured, and still does to this day!

I’ve asked a question several times over the years when speaking at men’s retreats and gatherings.

“Which would you rather have, a broken leg or a broken heart?”

Everyone in the room, shouted:

“A broken leg!”

This is because most of us, sadly, are well acquainted with the deep pain of a broken heart and the countless years of suffering.

My wife’s heart, while broken during her adolescent life, is undergoing healing over her adult years as she walks with God. Her healing could be accelerated if her parents would join her in her healing journey.

Yet, her parents want her and me, too, to “see no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil.” This silence and blindness to evil has allowed the unmitigated reign of evil over many in her family. It’s painful to watch, but prayer gives us our only hope.

However, religious abuse is hard to see, because it looks socially acceptable—it looks so spiritual! Sadly, the abuse that Toni is suffering has wreaked havoc on her innocence. Her frailty. Her femininity. On her mind. On her heart and soul. This caused her to feel spiritually dirty most of her life and hyper-subjective.

Because her abuse was from religious parents, it locked her into a prison of impossible expectations. A perfectionism that not even God would impose. Right? God’s perfection is imputed or placed upon us by the works of Jesus. Toni was expected to be perfect by religious means and not by divine decree. Sadly, this is the story of many children who are fathered by ministers.

So, how do we forgive mom or dad, or both?

“Honor your father and mother so that you may live long in the land and that it may go well with you.” – Deuteronomy 5:16

Remember, this is God’s command with no prerequisites. It’s his 5th commandment—smack-dab in the middle!

One reason God gives us this command is because parents, by design, are to be “lesser gods” to their offspring. The fifth commandment can also be applied to God.

Honor [God] so that you may live long in the land and that all my go well with you.

So, when we dishonor our parents, we also dishonor God, and we put great risks to our well-being and life expectancy.

But what about abusive parents? Are we to honor our abusers?

Here’s the question: Did God give us our parents, or did God give us to our parents?

It’s important to know, for several reasons.

The Allmighty of Scriptures is the Sovereign God. He’s the divine architect and the builder. He is motivated by nothing else than his will and purpose. Also, scripture is quite clear that God is very relational, right down to the individual — the individual parent and child. It boggles the mind, or at least mine, that God thought of you, me, and our parents before space and time!

“Before the creation of the world, he chose us through Christ to be holy and perfect in his presence.” – Ephesians 1:4

“The Lord formed me from the beginning before he created anything else. I was appointed in ages past, at the very first, before the earth began. – Proverbs 8:22-23

You see, we simply cannot deny that God put us into the care, good or bad, of our parents. We also can’t deny that God, intimately knowing you before earth began, appointed you to your parents. God is involved in both choices of parents to children and children to parents. There is nothing random about it! We had no say in the transaction.

Rather, God, in his wisdom, has appointed us to our parents, knowing fully that he will establish the commandment to honor them without hesitation and reservation. And that this commandment comes with a two-fold promise — all will go well with you and that you may have a long life on the earth.

But still, the question of forgiveness for our mom’s and dad’s abuse is unanswered for millions of hurting children of all ages, churched or unchurched.

I do want to address child abuse for those children who are still adolescent. It is not dishonoring to mom or dad if you seek help. This is for those children who are being physically or sexually abused by one or both parents. Speak to a pastor, teacher, school counselor, or coach. These people are required by law to notify Child Protective Services. Your safety is of utmost importance!

But for adult children, whereby we have moved out from mom’s and dad’s house, or perhaps they’re deceased. It’s not that forgiveness is optional. Rather, it is a necessity! Forgiving them is also about honoring them.

Many years ago, while living in Antioch, California, I invited my mother over to have a conversation. It was my plan to recall all the abuse that I had suffered by her hand.

It was just me and mom, sitting together in my home office when I began to unload on her. I was not angry or hard on my mom. I spoke from my heart and carefully described my hurts and scars.

Beginning at age 18 months old, I recalled quite accurately the violent physical abuse my little body suffered in the fit of her rage. I continued each remembrance, each story, as though it had just occurred; from 18 months through my 18th year! At the end of each story, with tears of remembrance traversing my bearded face, I said:

“Mom, I forgive you.”

… My mother just sat there, emotionless, and then replied:

“I don’t remember any of that.”

While her response was painful, I was not completely dispirited. You see, because my forgiveness wasn’t just for her, it was for me, too. While my exchange with mom was difficult, it came from my heart, not to condemn her, but to restore her—to restore us. To move the offense out of the way between mother and son. So that I could love her again. I didn’t need her permission to forgive her, as it was me letting go of all her hurtful acts.

Another twelve years would pass before my mother confessed and agreed to her abusive behavior. Her awakening happened just a few short days before she passed on Mother’s Day, May 11, 2008. It was just my mom and me again, but this time we met in her home. Unquestionably, God was there with mother and son. Both our hearts were tenderized by her battle with pancreatic cancer and softened by God’s mercy and grace. I again forgave my mother, and she humbly accepted my forgiveness as I accepted hers.

How do you know you have forgiven? When you can love them again.

It’s humanly impossible for us to forgive those who have treacherously abused or wronged us. Forgiveness is only possible through God’s grace and empowerment from Jesus Christ. And through Him, we can love again those who have wounded us with broken bones and shattered hearts. It’s called Agape Love — the love of God working in and through us.

My mother didn’t deserve my forgiveness, God required it of me. He knew it would bless me with a good and long life on earth. It was my opportunity to honor my mother. Grace, mercy, forgiveness, and God’s love are what triumphed here. It is what empowered me to do the impossible, which was to forgive my abuser—my own mother.

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!” – Isaiah 49:15

Just a few days before my mom’s death, God rembeberd me, and my mom, too. He rescued us both!

Here’s another helpful verse of Scripture written in the last Old Testament book and in the last two verses of the last chapter of Malachi:

“See, I will send the prophet Elijah to you before that great and dreadful day of the Lord comes. He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children and the hearts of the children to their parents; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse.” – Malachi 4:5-6

God softened my heart, and in turn, he softened my mother’s heart. Because of heartfelt forgiveness, my land is no longer cursed. My life is free from bitterness, resentment, and hate. I can honestly say that I miss my mom. She would be 92 years this past February, 25, 2025. Without a doubt, she’s basking in the presence of God, fully forgiven!

What about you? I encourage you, too, to forgive. Even if your parents and abusers are dead. Even more so, forgive them. You see, if they have died, then they’ve met the judge, and justice was measured upon them. All that is left for you is to forgive them and let them go so that you, too, can live well in the land.

Unforgiveness harms no one but yourself. It rots away your present life and eats away at your future. That’s the definition of a cursed life. Kick pride out of your life. It’s killing you! Humble yourself, and God himself will lift you up!

Now you know what to do when parents abuse.

Have courage, my dear friend, trust in God’s Word, and hold tightly to His promises. Though mom or dad may have forgotten you, God never forgets!

Forgiveness is your pathway to living a long and healthy life in the land!

God, Sex, and Confused Christianity By Thomas J. Koester

A few years ago, a Christian brother approached me and confessed that he was in a relationship with a married woman for the past two years.

He went on and told me the woman was unhappy in her marriage and that he and this woman were in love. The real shock came after he told me that he had spoken to his pastor about this relationship. Under full disclosure, he had asked the pastor if he should continue with the relationship, and the pastor’s reply:

“Well, let me pray about this and get back to you.”

Scripture is quite clear as to the answer of my friend’s question and confusion.

Why are so many Christians practicing sexual fornication, adultery, and other destructive lifestyles unchecked and unchallenged by churches and pastors?

Why are so many Churches and pastors so outspoken against homosexuality, yet tolerate their congregation’s practices of heterosexual sins and adultery?

Sexuality is sacred and purposed filled and is sanctioned only in the bonds of marriage between a man and a woman. Yet, even Christianity is progressively easing back from the sacredness of sexuality and marriage. And, it is creating excuses and confusion by its silence towards the biblical view of sexuality and its sacredness.

I guess it’s more profitable to be silent as a pastor regarding sexual sins than to preach God’s Word and truth as it relates to the sacredness of true sexuality. Christianity has created within itself a sin-dependent class and a sin tolerant class of Christians. I think many pastors and church boards believe that if pastors and teachers preached the biblical truth on sexuality their church attendance and tithing would rapidly decline.

And so, many churches and Christian leaders across this nation are flirting with the development of a hybrid-Christian world view of sexuality and political/religious correctness. Thus, mixing two world views to increase their fame and fortunes. I sincerely wish it were not so!

You can not use post-fallen man as a template of God’s ordination for the sacred. Only in Christ is man/woman restored, body, mind, and spirit. Either his/her mind is transformed or it is not. Our identity is not our sin, nor is it our sexual proclivities. Our identity and sexual orientation is redeemed and cleansed, and so we must cease from sin through the power of God’s grace and the blood of Christ Jesus, his Son.

Therefore, one cannot be a Christian and be homosexual, bisexual, transgender or transvestite in thought or in deed. Nor can one be a Christian and live a lifestyle of unchecked fornication and adultery. For Christ not only fulfilled all the law, but changed the direction of the law to inwardly, making even our hearts and minds the territory of His Holy Presence and Kingdom.

Sexual purity is a necessity and is not an option! Even so, God is full of grace and mercy. Only do not use his grace and mercy as a crutch.

The sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit transforms and conforms us, even those with homosexual thoughts and feelings, into the attitude and image of Christ, the perfect man. It is a cooperative relationship between the Spirit of Christ and the spirit of man, and it is not an easy process. It is at times messy and wrought with failure and setbacks, but God’s grace is not only his goodness, but more so, his enabling power of transformation and aid in our times of need.

The Spirit of Grace does not leave us in our sin and with our proclivities, nor leaves us subjugated to its strongholds of thoughts and imaginations, but rather delivers us from evil.

Yes, race, sex and gender are sacred and ordained by God as he originally created them to be. But not what sin has devolved or distorted it into.

Do not equate the plight of racism with sexual orientation or gender confusion. Even if gender confusion and homosexuality happens in the womb or is a result of early childhood environmental development, it does not make it sacred, but rather the results of the original fall and rebellion of man.

We are all born into sin, and none are innocent. Whether one is born heterosexual or chooses to be homosexual, we are all in need of a Redeemer and utterly lost and hopeless without Christ. The power of the Gospel is good news to both the outer and inner life of all people. None are left out or excluded from salvation and redemption in Christ. In God, there is no favoritism; nor racism; nor sexism. He is the God of all and has all the power to transform any sinner and of any sexual orientation.

Even though God originally created man heterosexual, the fall of the heterosexual man and his sexual promiscuity is just as vile as the sexual actions of homosexuality. The promiscuity of one is met with the same consequences as that of the other.

God ordained man and woman to be one. Anything beyond this is outside of God’s ordination and is subject to the laws of sin and death, for both the heterosexual and homosexual.

Christ is the hope of all peoples of the earth, and none are excluded from his saving power, except only those who refuse to believe and obey.

“Don’t be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God.” –Romans 12:2 World English Bible (WEB)

Don’t be confused, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, thoughts, and imaginations.

A life without standards is a life without value. A valueless life is a life without real love. Don’t be that person that cheapens love for sex—don’t do as the world does, but rather do what’s right, true and pure. Value your sexuality and the sexuality of others. Honor God with your body, and do not be confused!

The Story of My Second Birth – By Thomas J. Koester

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he can not see the kingdom of God.” –Jesus of Nazareth, John 3:3

Religion, unfortunately, can be filled with do’s and don’ts; traditionalism, legalism, hierarchy, and elitism are its hallmarks. I’m sure many of you have had good and bad experiences with religion.

My story isn’t about religion, however. It’s about new life, freedom, and forgiveness. I have gained hope and a future that can’t be found in any of the world’s religions or cults. It’s about an intimate connection and communication with the living and real presence of an incredibly loving God!

I wasn’t seeking God, nor did I strain to appease his wrath or try to win his favor. God pursued me. He revealed himself to me in such an amazing way! Even though His Word and Holy Spirit convicted me, God didn’t leave me in my guilt and shame.

You can’t turn away from your sins. That would make you your savior. Without a Savior, you’re left in an endless cycle of rinse and repeat. The active ingredient is true repentance, which comes only from God.

You see, this is the difference between true salvation and religion. Religion leaves you in your guilt and shame, but true salvation removes the stain of sin, guilt, and shame. Religion offers bondage, but God’s salvation, through Jesus Christ, brings forgiveness, a clear and clean conscious, and amazing freedom!

Okay, on to the story of my second birth…

I was ten years old and in Sunday morning service in Martinez, California, at Bethany Baptist Church, “The End Of Your Search For A Friendly Church,” their sign read.

Like so many Sundays before December 20, 1970, I heard the offer of Salvation at the end of each service. Only this time, as we sang a hymn, “Just One Plea,” which convicted my troubled ten-year-old heart.

Nonetheless, I sat there frozen, wanting to stand up but was too afraid. Sitting at a distance, to my right, was my Sunday School teacher, John C. Morgan. At that time, he was 84 and a Christian for 64 years. I loved that man as though he was my grandfather.

As the song continued, I struggled to sing the following words:

“Just as I am, without one plea
But that Thy blood was shed for me And that Thou bid’st me come to thee O Lamb of God, I come, I come…”

I looked towards John Morgan, and at his old leathered face; he gently smiled and motioned with his head in the direction of the center aisle. His gentle smile and motion gave me enough courage to stand up and walk my green mile to the altar, where I did business with the Son of God, Jesus Christ. Whereby I confessed and repented from the sins of a lost and guilt-ridden, ten-year-old little boy. Can a ten-year-old boy be guilty of sin? Do birds fly? Any honest parent or sibling knows the answer!

I placed my faith and belief in all that Jesus accomplished here and in heaven. I wept every step of that short journey to the altar but found indescribable joy at the moment of God’s salvation.

I am so saddened that many churches no longer do alter calls, or they do them, but only with every head bowed and every eye closed. No, my dear brothers and sisters, let salvation be seen! Allow God’s lost sons and daughters their time of triumphant entry into God’s amazing grace, mercy, and love!

Praise God for his indescribable love to those who believe and obey his good news! Seek God through Jesus his Son, here, now, while he can be found. Confess your sins, turn from them, and believe in the Son of God!

This December 20, 2024, will be my second birth celebration of 55 years as a Christ-follower.

I am a child of the Most-High God, all because Jesus Christ, His Son, took upon himself all of the wrath of God in my place.

God is the secret behind my 44-year marriage. He guided me as a faithful father. He made me into a man of peace. He softened my heart. He healed my broken and abused heart. He forgave me all of my sins. And, very importantly, he calls me son and allows me to call him Abba-Father! “Abba,” means daddy or poppa.

“Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.”’ –Galatians 4:6

Don’t fall for burdensome religion; fall in love with God. He first loved you–loved you enough that His Son, Jesus Christ, took God’s wrath upon himself, so you, too, can become His son or daughter! Amen

Deception in Your Church? – By Thomas J. Koester

No one who is deceived will say, “I’m deceived!” Deception is the state in which one has been taken captive by falsehood and error.

Did you know that error is a spirit? It is parasitical and will weaken your faith and ability to discern truth from error. If you are in a church, which is preaching and practicing error and there is no repentance, no correction, and no apology, you should not stay. Your spiritual health and possibly your eternal state are at risk.

“Blessed (happy and to be envied) are those who cleanse their garments, that they may have the authority and right to [approach] the tree of life and to enter through the gates into the city. [But] without are the dogs and those who practice sorceries (magic arts) and impurity [the lewd, adulterers] and the murderers and idolaters and everyone who loves and deals in falsehood (untruth, error, deception, cheating).” –Revelations 22: 14-15

When you tolerate error and biblical untruth, you will become party to the same eternal judgment on those who practice and teach such error. “Those who cleanse their garments” are those who have both authority and right to the tree of life and will pass through the gates.

Those who endure and tolerate error and falsehood are as guilty as sorcerers, murders, adulterers, and idolaters. Their’s is the same judgment.

There is no middle ground. Truth is not negotiable.

You can not, even in the slightest way, dismantle a portion of truth without becoming guilty of untruth, error, and deception.

You can not say that you hold and preach the “whole counsel of God” and at the same time ignore the command to love, cherish, and honor your wife. You might ask, what has marriage to do with truth and deception. It’s because the wife is the first to know.

You can not preach ecclesiastical unity and put your wife and marriage vows asunder. You can not hold to the New Covenant and ignore the marriage covenant. But far too many ministers do.

You shall not worship the anointing above the Anointer, who is God!

Did you know that you can perform signs and wonders; heal the sick, raise the dead, and preach the gospel and still end up in hell? Well, shouldn’t you at least think about it? After all, religious sin has got to be the most damnable and deceptive.

“Not everyone who says to Me, Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father Who is in heaven.

Many will say to me on that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name and driven out demons in Your name and done many mighty works in Your name?

And then I will say to them openly (publicly), I never knew you; depart from Me, you who act wickedly [disregarding My commands].” –Matthew 7:21-23

I plead with you, my brothers and sisters. Do not put up with error, even though you sense the “Lord’s presence” and an “anointing.” There is no excuse for falsehood, error, and deception. You can not violate God’s commands, no matter how many miracles and wondrous signs are displayed.

Remember, the Man of Sin, or the Lawless One [the one who does so called “righteous acts” without God’s approval], is about to be revealed, and his spirit is already at work in disobedient minds throughout the world.

The first command of the ten commandments of Satan is:

“Do what thou will.”

This satanic command is behind many so-called ministries. When a ministry is not doing God’s will, His way, they are indeed doing what “thou will.” They are obeying demons and not the Son of God. Their lack of discernment is due to their lack of knowing Jesus Christ and that Jesus has no relational knowledge of them. They don’t belong to God. They belong to the Devil.

People, attending a church and being involved in ministry, performing acts of healing, deliverance, prophesying, and speaking in tongues doesn’t make you a Christian or validate you as one. It may make you feel like a saint, but since when does feelings make you a saint?

Only he, who washes his robe and who does the will of God, shall enter through the gates and into the City of God.

Not everyone who says; “Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven…”

Check yourselves! Your pastor will not be standing next to you on the day of judgment, just you and the Lord. It’s you who must give an account as to what you have and have not done—to what you have believed while on earth.

The key to entering the city is to know and be known by God. You are known by God when your love is validated by obeying His commands and doing His will. There is God’s will, and there is rebellion. No other will exists.

Flee the house of deception and don’t look back!

Cover your ears to the flattery and tune into the voice of your True Heavenly Father. Don’t fall for favoritism of ministers and “important preachers” over the favor and approval of God.

Don’t exchange your identity of son or daughter of God, for position or title. Don’t marvel that you belong to a church or ministry, but marvel that your name is written the Lamb’s Book of Life.

Do not tolerate deception, false and new teaching, error, untruth or half-truth, do not accept the gospel of earthly prosperity at the expense of eternal life and heaven.

“Repent and live, why must you die, O’ house of Israel!”

Rather, worship God in the wilderness of this life and world. This world is our wilderness, and heaven is the promised land for all who obey—all who truly love and are truly known in the courts of heaven.

Pray for clarity and flee deception. Do it now!

The Blue Whale Prophecy — Thomas J. Koester

Photos, snapshots, and praise; the awing crowds come and go.

To the Shepherds and Pastors, write:

I see a large and beautiful Great Blue Whale in the middle of the ocean. The great mammal appears to have life, as it floats along the surface, but just beneath the water line, are Sharks and Killer Whales, ripping and tearing at her flesh.

The feast and frenzy is attracting other scavengers beneath. No one knows the whale is dead. The ships and tourist keep flocking the great mammal, but at a distance. Photos, snapshots, and praise the awing crowds come and go.

The life has left the great whale for some time. No one noticed when it fought and floundered against its mortal enemies. The great mammal was pulled beneath the surface, just enough, just long enough to drown the great mammal. That’s what they do—Killer Whales tire and then drown their victims.

She’s dead! The only life sustained now is by scavengers, which eat away the great carcass, eating away from beneath, so no one will notice.

Where has all the life gone? Where are all the people? The seats are filled, but the faces are all new! Photos, snapshots, a little praise, a little worship and the awing crowds come and go. Her spiritual body is being ripped and torn, but alas, no one notices—no one cares! All the religious busyness has weakened her; the earthly burdens and grand visions of men have weighed her down, tiring her, just enough, just long enough to drown her!

As the whale lives in the oceans and seas, it breathes air. My Church lives in the world, but it must breath heaven, it must come up to me for every word that proceeds from my mouth, or it shall die.

It all looks good. It seems real life is here, but if you get close enough, if you look beneath, you’ll see — She’s being eaten alive! Scavengers, Profiteers, Scammers, Whalers! What Jesus has brought together, man tears asunder!

We are being built into a spiritual house, brought together by Christ himself, so that we may become the habitation for His Spirit, that we may do greater deeds, deeds complete in His sight! But your acts only produce seedless fruit. It falls to the earth but does not reproduce! Why won’t you seek Heaven’s pollen?

Believe me, crowds do not constitute spiritual relevance. They may come to have their bellies filled—they may be curious or want to be entertained. They’ll feast and feed if you let them, but they have no heart to obey!

Scavengers, Spiritual Vagabonds, Drifters! If you pursue them, when your life’s work is complete, you’ll not go out with a “bang” but with a whimper! It may go “BANG!” on earth, but it will be a dud in heaven! Better to ally with those who’ve not soiled their clothes rather than those who bask in worldliness.

“To the angel of the church, in Sardis, write:

“These are the words of him who holds the seven spirits of God and the seven stars. I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your deeds complete in the sight of my God. Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard, obey it, and repent. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief. You will not know at what time I will come to you.

Yet you have a few people in Sardis who have not soiled their clothes. They will walk with me, dressed in white, for they are worthy. He who overcomes will, like them, be dressed in white. I will never blot out his name from the book of life but acknowledge his name before my Father and his angels. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.” —Revelations 3:1-6

Be watchful and intercede according to the intercessions of Christ Jesus, lest all is lost.

I felt led to present this prophetic word to my pastor — he liked it so much that he had it published in America’s Good News, regional periodical. Sadly, the message was missed, and three years later, my beloved pastor died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to his face. It was unknown to all of us that he had been fleecing the flock, taking hundreds of thousands of dollars from many in the congregation, especially the elderly. His visions were far too large and too expensive for the small East Bay church.

Towards the end, he was discovered, and charges were filed in two Northern California counties. Rather than face his wrongdoings, repent, and accept the consequences, he ended his life, leaving behind hundreds of devastated believers. I was one of them.

“But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” —Matthew 6:25

Worship God and not ministry.

Don’t go out with a BANG on earth!

Beautifully Broken – By Thomas J. Koester

What stands between many of us and the life we’re supposed to live is our ability to bullshit.

No, this is not a treatise on global warming or climate change or the negative impact of cow flatulence on our environment—far from it!

This is about fleeing pretense and duplicity and becoming the real you. It’s about breaking down the fake areas in our lives and being honest with ourselves and others.

Wholeness can only be achieved by utter and complete brokenness. This is a universal principle. This is also the opposite of what the world thinks.

I like what Jerry Maguire said in his moment of a breakthrough:

“… Two nights later in Miami at our corporate conference, a breakthrough. Breakdown? Breakthrough. It was the oddest, most unexpected thing. I began writing what they call a mission statement for my company. You know—a Mission Statement—a suggestion for the future. What started out as one page became twenty-five.

Suddenly, I was my father’s son. I was remembering the simple pleasures of this job, how I ended up here out of law school, the way a stadium sounds when one of my players performs well on the field… And suddenly, it was all pretty clear. The answer was fewer clients. Caring for them, caring for ourselves, and the games, too. Starting our lives, really. Hey, I’ll be the first to admit it. What I was writing was somewhat “touchy-feely.” I didn’t care. I had lost the ability to bullshit. It was the me I’d always wanted to be.” —The Movie “Jerry Maguire”

You see a breakthrough, I mean, the kind of breakthrough we know we really need is always preceded by a breakdown. And, when we lose—no, rather, when we refuse to bullshit ourselves and others, we’ll become the people that we’ve always wanted to be.

You’re divinely purposed to become a living act of God’s love and glory. You can’t become what your Creator has intended until you surrender your own mess. That is, your constant self-effort to holding the broken pieces of your life together. Living in fear and dread that your secret life will be exposed at any moment to a live audience.

Living life on constant defense and acting co-dependently, or as a self-enabler, justifying the actions of your false self at the expense of your true self. This is the definition of what I’m referring to as a “mess.”

You can not become assembled in body, mind, and spirit, all the while holding everything together. You are robbing yourself of the very strength and energy you need by wasting it on supporting your falseness and phony facade. Stop being driven by voices inside your head, echoing the curses from your mother or father, or from the other significant persons in your life.

These curses are the voices of “false coaches,” driving you to repeat a cycle of self-destruction and family dysfunction. These curses are carcinogenic to your desire for wholeness and wellness. They are the cancerous agents eating away at the divine purpose for which God has created you.

“Gloria Dei est vivens homo,” wrote Saint Irenaeus, which means:

“The glory of God is a living man.”

The glory of God is you fully living, and not your daily self-destruction and learned dysfunction.

In the human body, you can not build muscle without first tearing down the muscle you have. Tearing down the muscle requires a determination to submit to the pain and deny yourself comfort. Likewise, you must have a willing determination to submit your very life and comforts to God.

James says it this way:

4-6 “You’re cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and his way. And do you suppose God doesn’t care? The proverb has it that “he’s a fiercely jealous lover.” And what he gives in love is far better than anything else you’ll find. It’s common knowledge that “God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble.”

7-10 So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God, and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet.” —James 4:6-10 (MSG)

Pride is self-destruction, low esteem, self-loathing, and such, is what’s been behind your self-effort of “holding it all together.” This is why pride always precedes a profound fall. There is nothing good in this kind of a fall because it’s always a fall from grace and not towards it.

Do you want God’s grace? Become truly humble. Oh yes, it is painful to stop your self-salvation and accept the truth, and act on it. But the light, which will come flooding into your darkness, will bring the wholeness and wellness you’ve been searching for.

The problem with bullshit is that it is no respecter of person, race, religion, or age—it flows from all of us! Far too many of us hide behind B.S.

“Men love darkness, rather than light,” this is true. But you can not become the man or woman you were meant to become all the while remaining in darkness. Just as painful as it is to build muscle, is it painful at first to step out from darkness into God’s marvelous light!

The gain from the pain of coming into the light is worth the life of wholeness and holiness.

Did you know that embracing your brokenness rather than hiding it will cause collateral beauty?

There may be a divine and strategic purpose behind your brokenness that, when shared with others, may cause a chain reaction of hope and healing in you and in them.

At this very moment, you’re standing at a crossroad—at a turning point; your next decision can create a paradigm shift of unprecedented emotional and spiritual change.

“The Lord said to his people…

“’You are standing at the crossroads. So consider your path. Ask where the old, reliable paths are. Ask where the path is that leads to blessing and follow it. If you do, you will find rest for your souls. But they said, ‘We will not follow it!’” —Jeremiah 6:16 (NET)

Stop hanging out with the “We will not follow it” crowd!

You no longer belong to the crowd who refuse to follow the right path.

Stop staring at the crossroad in front of you and follow the right path. Stop saving yourself and fall into the grace, mercy, and love of God, and you will become the man or woman you’ve always wanted to be. After all, God put the desire to be his love and glory in you so that you may be fully living, fully alive to a world content with dying and taking you with it.

A breakdown is always before a breakthrough. God is waiting if you are willing. Open up to God or find a trusted friend to help lead you to God’s grace.

God can turn the ugliness of your brokenness into something beautiful!

May I be honest and a bit crass?

… It’s my prayer that you’ll lose your ability to “bullshit!” – Amen

The Church Without Mission – Thomas J. Koester

A church without a mission is nothing more than a religious country club!

If we are to speak honestly and with integrity concerning local and world evangelism, we have to ask ourselves the following questions about our churches:

How many doors of homes and businesses have you knocked on?
Do you knock on doors weekly or monthly?
Do you have a regular and ongoing classes on outreach and evangelism?
How many times per month are you preaching the Gospel outside your building, in the market places, town squares, etc.?
How much of your annual budget is spent sending out its own evangelists and missionaries?
Is the summation of your mission and evangelism work simply ”tithing” 10% of your Church’s revenue to foreign missionaries?
Do you share, in an active and practical way, the Apostle Paul’s passion for reaching all the world with the Gospel?

I’ll make no guesses or assumptions about your honest answer to these questions. I will, however, make an observation. America would be in a much better state, culturally and spiritually if a fraction of evangelical churches prioritized these things.

Do you know how and why some churches grow and some churches decline here or in your local cities and towns? I’ll give you one word…

… SCANDAL!

Churches here, and I’m sure elsewhere, grow while some decline is mainly due to church-hopping, transient Christians, that have been hurt, wounded, devastated, ignored, maligned, and forgotten by well meaning spiritual leaders. Many brothers, sisters, and families leave churches due to scandal and abuse. If more churches were outwardly focused on reaching the world, we’d have much less of the world and scandal inside churches.

The Barna Group has polled hundreds of unchurched believers and has determined that nearly 3,500 people per day exit church never to return! The age group polled were from 14 to 33 years old. The number one response was that they left church due to a lack of connectedness!

Herein lies the proof that far too many inwardly focused churches obsessed with millennialism, prosperity, and emotionalism, rather than Kingdom of God outward expansion, eventually self-destruct, producing devastated and retreating believers, longing for an exfil.

Is it time for people to church-exit what church has become in America? No, I think it’s time for churches to exit its self-absorption and get busy evangelizing its own communities and beyond. For all you futurists out there, the Kingdom of God is here, now, and will expand with or without you.

“To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger. There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile; but glory, honor and peace for everyone who does good: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For God does not show favoritism.” – Romans 2:7-11

“And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” – Matthew 28:18-20 ESV

A church without a mission is nothing more than a religious country club!

My Own Prison – By Thomas J. Koester

Maybe you’re not aware, but you’ve always held the keys to your own prison.

The song, My Own Prison, written and sung by Scott A. Stapp, from the band, Creed; album, My Own Prison, released 1997.

The song’s lyric starts out:

“A court is in session, a verdict is in
No appeal on the docket today
Just my own sin
The walls are cold and pale
The cage made of steel
Screams fill the room
Alone I drop and kneel

Silence now the sound
My breath the only motion around
Demons cluttering around
My face showing no emotion
Shackled by my sentence
Expecting no return
Here there is no penance
My skin begins to burn…

… I cry out to God
Seeking only his decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I’ve created my own prison”
Scott A. Stapp

The song is actually about self-condemnation and being tormented from past sins. I think that many of us suffer from the same struggle, only we’re not brave and honest enough to put it into lyrics for the world to sing.

No, we’d rather hide our self-hatered, lock it up inside our minds, and in our own prison, all the while holding the keys to our own cell. This is the definition of an unforgiving soul, a soul that hasn’t accepted forgiveness from God.

You see, the lack of forgiving others stems from an unforgiving self. When we refuse to forgive ourselves, we lack the ability to forgive others. More pointedly, we reject forgiveness because of shame, shame so deeply held within our being that it becomes our identity. Living too long with shame like that will soon turn your inner prison cell into a stronghold. A stronghold that will even lock out God’s forgiveness.

Did you know that your unforgiveness to yourself and the laundry lists of unforgiven people become building blocks for an inner fortress, where self-hatred will fester and thrive? It’s true, and it will keep you locked up for a lifetime!

We become deceived into thinking that our unforgiveness is justified due to the seriousness of not only our own sins but also the sins against us. So we die within our own prison cells due to a hunger strike, starving ourselves from God’s rich mercy and grace.

When we refuse to forgive, we end up owning the offense, or more accurately, the offense owns us. The offender, well, they may have moved on, yet we are the ones that are needlessly imprisoned because of our own stubbornness and pride.

Maybe you’re not aware, but you’ve always held the keys to your own prison.

Your forgiveness is the only key to unlocking your prison door. It’s the only way in which you, yourself, can be forgiven. Maybe you haven’t realized that God’s forgiveness is conditiononal. Maybe you don’t care. Maybe no one ever told you.

“Your heavenly Father will forgive you if you forgive those who sin against you, but if you refuse to forgive them, he will not forgive you.” Matthew 6:15 – Jesus of Nazareth

Don’t forfeit God’s mercy and grace any longer. Don’t remain shackled to self-loathing, loathing of others, bitterness, and anger.

There was a reason why the Inaugural Speech of Jesus was a scripture passage he read from in the Book of Isaiah, chapter 61, verse 1:

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the suffering and afflicted. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted, to announce liberty to captives, and to open the prison doors, setting them free.”

Do you see, my dear friend?

Jesus came to forgive you. He came to bring you good news for your sad and broken heart, to set you free from captivity, and to release you from your own prison.

It starts with you accepting God’s forgiveness of all your sins; all washed away by the sacrifice of Jesus, nailed to the cross. The Cross is where all your sins should forever be and not in your own prison of guilt.

The reason for this season is that you might forgive yourself, accept God’s forgiveness, and then you’ll be able to forgive everyone who hurt you.

Here’s what I humbly suggest…

Log off Facebook, LinkedIn, X, Nextdoor, etc. Quiet the noise in your head – let your heart speak for once. Listen carefully to its pent-up cries for help. Cry out to Jesus, God’s Son, to forgive you. Even asking for his help to do so. Confess with your heart and mouth of your failures and sins. Believe in your heart that Jesus was crucified and raised to life for you to seek you, save you, heal, and restore you. Ask him to help you turn from all your sins.

“That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. – Romans 10:9-11

Don’t give shame and pride another moment of keeping you in your own prison. Amen

Finding Your Way Back to God – By Thomas J. Koester

“Today, if you hear God’s voice, do not harend your heart.”

Our Nation is suffering from terminal cancer, which has metastasized throughout its culture, society, and every sector of government, education, corporations, media, and institutions.

Do you think any president, left or right, or political party can heal her?

If you do, you’re part of the problem, and I think you need a second opinion.

Our Nation is at stage-4 cancer, and very few are on their knees in intercession to our only Healer and Redeemer.

“…So it will be when the LORD begins to heal his people and cure the wounds he gave them.” Isaiah 30:26.

But this promise to heal and restore only comes after the Nation confesses and morns their sins and turns from their wicked ways.

Our Nation and its people are in denial about its moral rot and spiritual decay.

We think that the right politician will solve America’s problems, when in fact our problems are not political, but profoundly spiritual.

However, the True and proven Man, Jesus Christ, the very Son of God, is rejected as our only King and Sovereign, and His Lordship abandoned in exchange for earthbound political might of lesser gods.

There is no man whereby his promises, no matter how lofty and spiritual, can bring about true peace and national redemption.

Only the contrite heart of a broken nation and acknowledgment of our corporate and individual sins as a people will real spiritual change come. Only the True God of Heaven, who’s no politician and whose power and authority are not dependent on the elections or political whims of any people or nation.

The prophets are pleading for repentance and a return to holiness, or all is lost, and our only hope for healing will come from a dark season of judgment.

Prepare yourselves and get your houses and churches in order. We’ve not much time. Those whose God is The Lord and are found on their knees before our Great King will survive.

Our finest hour is upon us, but you’ll only shine in the coming darkness if your heart is right with God and if he is your only God and Savior.

God bless and heal America, but only! if we as your people turn from our selfishness and rebellion.

Find your way back to God so that our national cancer can be healed!

Here’s the Church, And Here’s The Steeple, Open The Doors And Where’s All the People? – By Thomas J. Koester

The COVID-19 virus caused the emptying of 21st-century Christianity’s churches and cathedrals.

While the empty tomb of our Lord and Savior is, and forever, will be the main power source of Christianity, the Social Distancing edict might have inadvertently caused a miracle. Due to COVID-19, maybe empty church buildings will also become, in a small way, (a) power source for modern-day Christianity. Maybe our closed buildings will mean an opening to global evangelism.

The empty tomb meant that the old religious order of continual animal sacrifices was over. It means that the old order of the priesthood was over. It meant that the veil, which separated you and me from direct access to God, was torn down. And very importantly, it meant that where two or more are gathered, there in their midst is the very presences of God, and no longer confined to the temple made by man. It means that even when we are alone, and without each other, that God is with us and in our very own hearts.

God’s people no longer needed priests. God’s people no longer needed animal sacrifices to make atonement. God’s people no longer had to experience His favor and presence by proxy. And, God’s people no longer were confined to a temple made of bricks and mortar.

Because of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, we are free of all the religious trappings and traditions of men and of the consequences of the law. We are free to be the Church wherever we gather, even as few as two people!

Let us capitalize on our present situation and be convinced, once and for all, that we, as God’s people, are the Church. We are the living church. We, you and I, are the bride of Christ. Our church buildings, plain or palatial, were never meant to be the representation of the world.

Although, sadly, Church buildings had become the identity of Christianity. It is my hope that God’s people will be recognized as the Church and regain her position as the living bride of Christ and the center of Christianity.

One Sunday, Toni and I visited a church in Oakdale, California. When we arrived, we walked in and learned that the Church was emptied except for a few people who were preparing a luncheon, later to be enjoyed by the returning congregation. Rather than their typical service, the Church was in the downtown square, assisting their local community. We were actually pleasantly surprised and not at all offended by the empty sanctuary.

Do not be overcome because we cannot presently occupy a building, but celebrate that with or without buildings that we are the Bride of Christ, and that we’re meant to deliver the Gospel of the Kingdom to every nation and to every people. In doing so, our proclamation will hasten the ending and will launch the new beginning that we’ve all been longing for.

For the past 1700 years, Christianity created and built ornate cathedrals with spires and steeples pointing to the heavens.

Let the truth be known:

“Church steeples can be traced back thousands of years to Egypt and pagan worship. Roman Emperor Constantine and his “Edict of Milan” in 313CE made the Empire officially neutral with regard to religion. Eventually, Pagan and Christian symbols were eventually merged at the Council of Nicea in 325CE, and new doctrines and dogmas were set up by the Holy Roman Catholic (meaning universal) Church, and strictly enforced, under penalty of death.”

Since then, this building emphasizes that along with Christianity, continually orbiting ornate and palatial constructs, we’ve ceased going into all the world with the Gospel and instead invited all the world into our buildings. Over time, the contrast between Christianity and “worldlism” diminished. Rather than the world becoming more influenced by Christianity, the world’s influence had crept into our churches and has negated our need for faith and the Great Commission.

Let’s pray that this COVID-19 virus heals Christianity from its obsession with buildings and steeples and instead goes out, even as few as two-by-two, to all the peoples.

God’s blessings and power to the true Living Church and Bride of Christ – Amen