The Power of The Father Connection – By Thomas J. Koester

Never underestimate the power, authority, and security of a father’s connection. There is nothing on earth that can take its place.

Since time began, power was, and is, the principal motivator of life. Whoever wields power has control, authority, and security. If you think about it, these three things are essential for just about any group of people. In fact, they are essential for a healthy family.

This is why family is so important. It is the very fabric that holds society together.

Whether you agree or not, God instituted family. He derived the construct from his trinitary-self of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Father, wife, and child, are by design, God’s reflective image of himself into creation.

God first creates man, then woman, then from their union, offspring. God shares with man his power, giving him control, authority, and security. He places man in the center of paradise and says you tend to cultivate it, rule over it, and honor its boundaries (security).

Fundamentally, our identity, personhood, and security come from our families and principally from our fathers. The most primal and significant connection we can have on earth begins with our fathers. It’s not an option — it’s foundational!

This is why fatherhood is under such terrible assault. It is the most strategic and essential part of God’s design and image. Destroy the image of fathers, and you destroy the image of Father-God. Turn the children from their fathers, and you’ll frustrate and hinder children from finding their Heavenly Father.

When fathers and children turn away from each other, the family crumbles. When this becomes the norm, marriages crumble, and children become aimless and disenfranchised from the safety of paternal authority, control, and security. They become targets of destructive philosophies, ideologies, and influences.

The following is an excellent portrayal of the destructive force against fathers and family:

In the 1991 Movie “Hook,” starring Dustin Hoffman as Captain Hook, Robbin Williams as Peter Banning (Peter Pan), and Charlie Korsmo as Jack Banning, Peter’s son; an interesting scene takes place between Captain Hook and little Jack Banning:

Hook: Such a pretty, pretty…. … What is that I hear? A ticking. Smee, stop the ticking! Stop that! Stop that “tick-tick”!

Smee: There’s no ticking here. There’s nothing left to tick.

Hook: This is for the ticking that might have been. Get his father’s watch!

Smee: Right.

Hook: Go on. You know you want to. Give it a try. Go on.

Jack: This is for..never letting me blow bubbles in my chocolate milk!

[he smashes his dad’s watch]

Smee: Yes!

Hook: Ha ha! Good form! Bravo!

Smee: There you go! Isn’t that wonderful?

Jack: This is for never letting me jump on my own bed.

[Jack smashes the watch again]

Hook: Make time stand still, laddie.

Jack: For always making promises and breaking them! For never doing anything with me.

[ Once again, Jack smashes the watch]

Hook: For a father who’s never there, Jack. Jack, for a father who didn’t save you on the ship.

Jack: [Sadly] Who wouldn’t save us….

Hook: Who couldn’t save you, Jack.

Jack: He wouldn’t. He didn’t even try. He was there, we were there, and he wouldn’t try.

Hook: Jack, he will try. And the question will be: When the time comes, do you want to be saved? Now, don’t you answer now. No, no, no, no. Now it’s time to be whatever you want to be. Put behind you any thoughts of home…that place of broken promises.

Jack: That what?

Hook: Have I ever made a promise, Jack… … I have not kept? Have I, son?

Did you read how the evil Hook exploits Jack’s wounds? Then Hook belittles his father, even to the point of “when the time comes, Jack, do you want to be saved?”

Hook continues, stealing the boy’s identity:

“…Now it’s time to be whatever you want to be. Put behind you any thoughts of home… … that place of broken promises.”

Not only does Hook steal the boy’s identity, he sinisterly robs him of his sense of belonging and then mischaracterizes Jack’s home “as a place of broken promises.”

Hook tops it off by reidentifying Jack as “his son.” He strikes Jack’s wound at the center of his heart, reminding Jack that his dad is weak, a liar, and a man of broken promises.

“Hook: Have I ever made a promise, Jack… … I have not kept? Have I, son?”

I truly believe that this clever and well-written movie accurately illustrates how evil destroys fathers, families, children, and homes.

In the last book of the Old Testament, the last chapter and the last two verses read:

“Look, I am sending you the prophet Elijah before the great and dreadful day of the Lord arrives. His preaching will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers. Otherwise, I will come and strike the land with a curse.” Malachi 4:5-6

The fulfillment of this Malachi prophecy occurs in the First Chapter of Luke 1:17. John The Baptist prepared the way for Jesus Christ, whose mission was to redeem the lost sons of Adam.

When fathers and children remain estranged and God’s salvation is averted, the land, culture, and society become cursed. It is undeniable that our land, America, has been cursed.

Fathers, do whatever it takes to connect with your kids. Kids, do whatever it takes to connect with your fathers.

Sometimes, taking up our father’s interest in sports, hobbies, etc., is the only way we can connect with our fathers. His pastime becomes ours, and maybe the only bridge on earth to reach him and spend time with him.

However, I’d rather see fathers turn their hearts towards their children, enter their world, and connect with their likes.

The hearts of the fathers must initiate a turning back to their children, or there’s little hope for society. Their best hope of connecting to God is their connecting with you!

Fathers, your legacy is at risk – worse, your children’s future and eternity are at stake.

Never underestimate the power, authority, and security of a father’s role and his connection. There is nothing on earth that can take its place!

The Missing Language of Love – The Power of Our Father’s Words – By Thomas J. Koester

“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.” –Peggy O’Mara

A father’s likes, for example, sports, politics, music, or cars, etc., becomes the language in which a father speaks to his children and which they speak to themselves.

The fact that many fathers do not listen with their hearts is why so many sons and daughters remain disconnected from their dads. His children may not like sports, politics, or music, etc., and therefore have nothing to say. I meet so many people obsessed with sports, politics, drugs, drinking, etc., because this is the only way that they can relate to or speak with their fathers.

Many people have no idea as to why they like or do these things, and rarely make the connection that they do these things because this was their father’s language – this is how they’ve learned to gain their father’s approval, acceptance, and his attention.

My father’s language was politics and technology. I found myself learning all I could about current political events and the latest technological gadget, so I would have something to say to my dad. I wanted my father’s approval — his acceptance and respect, so I learned his language. The sad part is that my relationship with my father was always in the shallows and never at the level and depth of heart and soul. Sadly, this became my language also between my own sons and daughter.

One day, I inspected a water-damaged home in Antioch, California, with the homeowner and his family present. All the decorations in the kitchen, family room, and master bedroom were covered with San Francisco 49er’s paraphernalia – I mean, it was everywhere! After I was completed with my task, the husband asked me:

“So, do you watch sports? … what do you think of those 49ers?”

I replied:

I don’t watch or like sports all that much.

His facial expression intimated shock and amazement!

I further replied:

… You like sports because this was the only way you could speak with your father and gain his attention and approval.

I glanced at his wife, and her face suddenly lit up with shock!

She quickly replied:

“MY GOSH, THAT’S SO TRUE!”

The husband just stood there, with his mouth opened, with the expression as though his best friend had just died!

You begin to learn how powerful for good, or evil, our father’s likes, especially when they become the mechanism of speech or language with their children. Right? Just as Peggy O’Mara wrote,

“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.”

The Bible points this out in the last book of the Old Testament, and in the very last two verses:

“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord. And he shall turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” –Malachi 4: 5-6.

Do you see?

If the fathers do not turn their hearts to their children, the earth will be cursed. What curses the world is silent fathers and fathers that do not speak from their hearts. This, in turn, causes children not to speak from their hearts also. Instead, their relationship with their dads is in the shallows. Very little, to no life pass from the father to their children. Sadly, this lack of transaction creates an emotional and relational deficit from generation to generation.

Proverbs 4: 23 puts it this way:

“Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.”

If you’re a father, change the language from sports, politics, or anything that keeps your relationship with your kids in shallow places and listen and speak from your heart. From your heart flows the springs of life. Your kids can’t live successful, healthy, and full lives without the spring of life from your heart. Your words and language matter. It’s a matter of life and death!

We dads have the power of life and death in our speech with our kids, young or old. Our words have the power to build or destroy the future of our children. It is never too late to speak from our hearts.

Help build your children’s future and speak the language of love.

Speak from your heart and not from your likes!

Breaking The Orphaned Mindset – By Thomas J. Koester

Nothing can be more meaningful or powerful as the Father Heart of GOD.

The reason you feel like a victim is because you do not feel like a son or daughter. Having an “orphan mentality” makes you vulnerable and an easy target of doom and gloom.

The longer you see yourself as an orphan, you become a prime target by the Father of Lies and his abusive cohorts. Trust me, the Father of Lies, well he’s nothing but a deadbeat dad. Nothing good can come from him. He can’t offer you a future, but only a darkened past.

The Enemy’s plan? Cause you pain to rob you of your future. God’s plan? Give you a future through your pain and rob the Enemy.

Stop interpreting your hardship as a series of mishaps. If you begin to embrace all hardship as an established fact of your son-ship, suddenly you’ll gain strength you’ve never thought possible. Our God is no dead-beat dad; those whom he loves, he inflicts hardship, and his hardship for your life comes from a good place—his heart.

“My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights. Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding.” –Proverbs 3:11-13

“Endure [all] suffering as discipline: God is dealing with you as sons. For what son is there that a father does not discipline?” [Emphasis mine] –Hebrews 12:7

“God corrects all his children, and if he doesn’t correct you, then you don’t really belong to him.” –Hebrews 12:8

GOD is fathering you into the best son, or daughter you can be, because that’s what a good father does.

Nothing can be more meaningful or powerful as the Father Heart of GOD.

Maybe you’re simply misunderstanding your difficulties. If you can accept difficulties as a test from God rather than bad luck, you’ll want to pass the test instead of complaining about it.

Maybe you’re not an orphan after all, maybe God is fathering you because he’s in love with you, just like a real daddy.

So, snap out of it!

You’re not an orphan but a son or daughter of The Most High God!