The Missing Language of Love – The Power of Our Father’s Words – By Thomas J. Koester

“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.” –Peggy O’Mara

A father’s likes, for example, sports, politics, music, or cars, etc., becomes the language in which a father speaks to his children and which they speak to themselves.

The fact that many fathers do not listen with their hearts is why so many sons and daughters remain disconnected from their dads. His children may not like sports, politics, or music, etc., and therefore have nothing to say. I meet so many people obsessed with sports, politics, drugs, drinking, etc., because this is the only way that they can relate to or speak with their fathers.

Many people have no idea as to why they like or do these things, and rarely make the connection that they do these things because this was their father’s language – this is how they’ve learned to gain their father’s approval, acceptance, and his attention.

My father’s language was politics and technology. I found myself learning all I could about current political events and the latest technological gadget, so I would have something to say to my dad. I wanted my father’s approval — his acceptance and respect, so I learned his language. The sad part is that my relationship with my father was always in the shallows and never at the level and depth of heart and soul. Sadly, this became my language also between my own sons and daughter.

One day, I inspected a water-damaged home in Antioch, California, with the homeowner and his family present. All the decorations in the kitchen, family room, and master bedroom were covered with San Francisco 49er’s paraphernalia – I mean, it was everywhere! After I was completed with my task, the husband asked me:

“So, do you watch sports? … what do you think of those 49ers?”

I replied:

I don’t watch or like sports all that much.

His facial expression intimated shock and amazement!

I further replied:

… You like sports because this was the only way you could speak with your father and gain his attention and approval.

I glanced at his wife, and her face suddenly lit up with shock!

She quickly replied:

“MY GOSH, THAT’S SO TRUE!”

The husband just stood there, with his mouth opened, with the expression as though his best friend had just died!

You begin to learn how powerful for good, or evil, our father’s likes, especially when they become the mechanism of speech or language with their children. Right? Just as Peggy O’Mara wrote,

“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.”

The Bible points this out in the last book of the Old Testament, and in the very last two verses:

“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord. And he shall turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” –Malachi 4: 5-6.

Do you see?

If the fathers do not turn their hearts to their children, the earth will be cursed. What curses the world is silent fathers and fathers that do not speak from their hearts. This, in turn, causes children not to speak from their hearts also. Instead, their relationship with their dads is in the shallows. Very little, to no life pass from the father to their children. Sadly, this lack of transaction creates an emotional and relational deficit from generation to generation.

Proverbs 4: 23 puts it this way:

“Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.”

If you’re a father, change the language from sports, politics, or anything that keeps your relationship with your kids in shallow places and listen and speak from your heart. From your heart flows the springs of life. Your kids can’t live successful, healthy, and full lives without the spring of life from your heart. Your words and language matter. It’s a matter of life and death!

We dads have the power of life and death in our speech with our kids, young or old. Our words have the power to build or destroy the future of our children. It is never too late to speak from our hearts.

Help build your children’s future and speak the language of love.

Speak from your heart and not from your likes!

Tears of Sweet Nothing – The Unseen One – By Thomas J. Koester

“You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn, through the sleepless nights, each tear entered in your ledger, each ache is written in your book.” –Psalms 56:8

“He has not forgotten the one who is hurting. He has not turned away from his suffering. He has not turned his face away from him. He has listened to his cry for help.” –Psalms 22:24

Our family consisted of eight people, and we lived in our tiny 1400-square-foot, four-bedroom, two-bath home in a housing development in Martinez, CA. I lived there from late 1965 until July 1978.

During those years, I was forced to share a bedroom with my older brother Jeffrey, who is only sixteen months older than me. I had always thought it was a mistake for our parents to room Jeffery and me together, as we constantly fought and were at each other’s throats!

But at the same time, we were both there for each other, especially after we both were terribly beaten, sometimes separately, and at times together, we were lashed, punched, or kicked. During Those moments, Jeffrey and I would become friends and assuage each other’s wounds or share our complaints and anger about what had happened and the unfairness of it all. And maybe our brief times of fellowship and friendship were based on the principle: “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” Still, Jeffrey helped me as my older brother by caring for me when I was abused.

At times, we’d become fellow cellmates, imprisoned in our bedroom together for hours or perhaps for an entire day. However, I think Jeffrey had it much worse than me, if you can believe it!

At ten years of age, my life began to exhibit evidence of being soul murdered. Although physically alive, my trust and sense of safety were nearly gone. I was incapable of bonding and receiving love or belonging to anyone. The hole this created in me was too broad and deep for any human to fill. I was unwanted and unloved. The abuse was so horrific that it impacted my identity.

During those abusive years, I developed new titles: The Discarded One, The Disgraceful One, and the Unwanted One, which began to dictate my life and identity. My mother bestowed those titles upon me during her fits of rage.

I became a lost boy, un-fathered and un-mothered by nurture and love. My home was my house of horrors. I found solace in living a secret life of fantasy and daydreaming, similar to the 1947 movie with Danny Kaye called: “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.”

In elementary school, I would sit there, daydreaming of some incredible feat or be far away on a voyage to uncharted islands of mystery. I always imagined myself as the hero.

After my father had passed away, I found a bundle of old report cards. One report card from my second-grade teacher, Mrs. Dodd, stood out. On the back of the report card was written a personal note to my parents:

“Thomas just seems to sit here in class, daydreaming.”

Growing up, you were always guilty in our home and never allowed the opportunity to plead your innocence. Even if one of my siblings tattled on me, it would often end up with a beating or punishment. The only thing protecting each of us from excessive tattling was the military doctrine of “Mutual Assured Beatings!” Even the tattler could be swept up in our mother’s rage, suffering a beating, too! So, we used tattling sparingly.

This created a hypersensitivity to injustice, yet I felt powerless to do anything about it. Even today, I am acutely sensitive to injustice against myself and others.

“Fate, it seems, is not without its sense of irony,” said Morpheus in the movie, “The Matrix.”
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Like Neo, the movie’s central character, he was powerless and a slave to a programmed existence. My “sense of irony” showed up in my career choices. I believe my sensitivity to injustice is why I have successfully settled claims on behalf of fire and water damage victims. I am empathetic to individuals and families being abused by Impersonal insurance companies that place shareholders above policyholders.

So, unknown to me, the terrible injustice I suffered as a child had fatefully trained me for my vocation. Perhaps it is more likely that the sense of irony is not fate, but rather, I became attracted to my career choices because of parental abuse and their unjust treatment.

Had there been an actual “Morpheus” in my life, it would have been so helpful to extricate me from the matrix of horrors. But, in fact, there was. This is why my hopeless story is so hope-filled. The name “Morpheus” actually means: ‘He who shapes.’ As you read on, you will learn through my story that there has indeed been, and continues to be, a “Morpheus” in my life.

Nevertheless, an undeniable force is shaping me through a maze of pain and struggle of good and bad days to a present joy-filled life, which now I would never trade or abandon. It would be like saying to a diamond, “Turn back into coal,” or to a pearl, “Turn back into a grain of sand.” I’m still in the “rough,” so to speak, and in between two extremes: the lightness of joy and contentment and the weightiness of pain and agony.

This precise pressure point masterfully creates diamonds of joy and the pearls of contentment within my life. Pain is never the product of this process, but joy and happiness are. Pain and agony are elements necessary to produce “suffering,” which produces eternal qualities and degrees of character that can not be developed in any other way.

So, in a nutshell, “Don’t waste your suffering!” It is the process of suffering that can lead to a fulfilling life! And so it is, I believe, for you, too. Your story is not an endless season of reruns but of purposeful and significant meaning.

“Rest, the answers are coming…” Said Morpheus to a perplexed and doubting Thomas Anderson at the beginning of his transformation into “Neo.”

By the way, you are transforming, and what that is will be revealed in time. The process you are in may be painful and even hopeless, but everything good and true, of worth and value, comes with pain and suffering. It is all a part of living and transforming. Until then, my dear friend, “Rest, the answers are coming…”

Be brave enough to journey into your past. Not alone like you have so many times before; no, this time, journey back with God. Invite Him into your past as your guide, comforter, and healer. Ask Him for wisdom and understanding. Then, prepare yourself to forgive those who’ve wounded and harmed you. Forgiveness is pivotal. Without it, you’ll remain imprisoned and tormented.

This was the journey that I took and am still on. This is how I learned the importance of forgiveness and the value of tears. Tears are the beginning of transforming from The Unseen One to God’s Beloved One.

God bless you on your journey!

And Forget Not All His Benefits – By Thomas J. Koester

In my business, I assist people involved in wildfires throughout California, Nevada, and Arizona. I meet many people who have no idea of their homeowner’s policy benefits. They may be fully aware of their policy premium, but the important stuff, like proper coverage limits, what is covered and excluded, etc., they have no idea!

But when disaster strikes, unfortunately, that’s when many people find out that either they have no coverage or not enough. At that point, there’s nothing that can be done.

One client bought a home in Northern California, paid cash, but didn’t purchase insurance. While out of state, a massive wildfire broke out; she saw the news that it was headed for her new community. She grabbed her phone and purchased a policy, paying 100% of the annual premium, and miraculously got coverage placed the same day!

A few days later, she learned that her new home was destroyed; the foundation was damaged beyond repair. All that stood was a lonely brick chimney. She immediately filed a claim under her brand-new insurance policy. The claim investigator accurately determined, based on the fire suppression team’s GPS locators, that the fire had destroyed the lady’s home before the insurance policy was in force.

My dear friends, don’t wait until the last minute to receive salvation through Jesus Christ. You, too, may find out that it was too late. His salvation is far more critical than proper and timely fire insurance for your home. Death can come in an instance and move faster than a wildfire.

Jesus can save your soul for eternity. He can supply far more benefits than Allstate, Geico, or Liberty Mutual. With Jesus, you’ll be sufficiently covered, no cancellation, no out-of-pocket cost, no deductible, and no premiums, as he’s paid the price in full!

God’s gift to you is to have faith enough to believe in his One and only Son, Jesus Christ; to believe In his Son’s life, death, and resurrection. All you must do is turn from sin and disbelief and put your trust, faith, and obedience in God and His Word. In doing this, your name will be written in the Lamb’s Book of Life, whereby God’s policy for your eternal life is irrevocable and indelibly written. And God will never change the terms of his benefits. He’ll never back off from His promises.

To my believing friends, forget not all His benefits. I meet far too many Christians living life as though they were uninsured by God’s great love, mercy, and grace. The reason why so many of my Christian brothers and sisters are so heavily burdened by the world is that they’ve either forgotten God’s promises and benefits or because they’ve never read them or have been taught.

My brothers and sisters, there is no need to be depressed, worried, or to live in fear and dread. There is no need to doubt, lose heart, or be lonely.

Here’s Psalm103 in its entirety:

1 “Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

2 Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits—3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, 4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, 5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagles.

6 The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.

7 He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel:

8 The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. 9 He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; 10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.

11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

13 As a father has compassion on his children, so, the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; 14 for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.

15 The life of mortals is like grass; they flourish like a flower of the field; 16 the wind blows over it, and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. 17 But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children -18 with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.

19 The Lord has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all.

20 Praise the Lord, you his angels, you mighty ones who do his bidding, who obey his word. 21 Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts, you his servants who do his will. 22 Praise the Lord, all his works everywhere in his dominion.

Praise the Lord, my soul…”

… and forget not all His benefits!

Not Enough Heaven – By Thomas J. Koester

If you’re not living as though heaven is for real, then you’re not prepared to live there.

“Nobody gets too much heaven no more It’s much harder to come by I’m waiting in line Nobody gets too much love anymore It’s as high as a mountain And harder to climb…”
“Too Much Heaven,” by (Songwriter(s): Barry, Robin & Maurice Gibb) Recorded: July 1978

We’ve got to stop playing into the hands of Unbelievers and Utopians by joining them in bringing heaven to earth. It’s our job as believers to bring people to heaven and living a lifestyle that points the way.

Heaven is our destination, which makes us sojourners and not settlers while here on earth.

The old saying:

“Don’t be too Heavenly minded, or you’ll be no earthly good.”

That is a lie!

Being Heavenly minded is how we avoid becoming too worldly, and so becoming ineffective on earth.

We lead people towards God because of the amazing hope of heaven within us.

Colossians 3:1-2

Living the New Life

“Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth.”

Hmm, “… realities of heaven,” I like that! Heaven is a reality; it’s for real, or have you forgotten?

“Nobody gets too much heaven no more” is because our worldly goals and comforts have replaced our heavenly destination. Jesus spoke of a present Heavenly Kingdom, which is here, now, and already within us, who believe.

… We’ve just forgotten it!

Heaven is both our prize and reward, which is barely spoken about or herald from pulpits. Doesn’t truly loving God mean that we have a longing to be with Him; to be where our Lover and Redeemer dwells?

We’ve trivialized what it truly means to “love the Lord thy God,” and turned love into an impossible feat, making real love as unreachable, “as a high mountain” that has become “too hard to climb.”

No heaven and no love no more is making our world into a hellish place, whereby more and more people want off earth, but in the wrong way, and in the wrong direction!

Why are so many “broken people” willing to take as many people to hell with them as possible?

Why would John Lennon pen the famous lyrics…

“Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky”

… which happens to be the atheist’s Anthem!

This song, as popular as it is, is not directing people to a place of world peace. It’s directing people straight to hell, all during a nice tune and a sweet melody.

According to Ecclesiastes 3:11, We were created with “eternity written on our hearts.” We can’t fathom “only sky.” We have souls fitted for eternity.

Where are the Holy People of God who are to lead the lost and hopeless to the love of God and the only pathway to heaven, which is Jesus Christ?

If you’re not living as though heaven is for real, then you’re not prepared to live there. If you’re not loving God for real, then you’re making love impossible.

God’s love is real, and so Heaven is real, too!

As a matter of fact, heaven is so real that God sent his only Son, in the form of a baby, to make a way for you and me to enter heaven.

Before Jesus gave up his last breath, he said to the thief, hanging on his own cross next to him:

“… This day, you will be with me in Paradise.”

Jesus came to earth so that you too may be with him in heaven. The thief on the cross recognized Jesus’s innocence, and in so doing, believed that Jesus is the Christ.

I hope you, too, will believe.

The world would be a better place with more heavenly minded people on it! Wouldn’t you think so?

Get Your House In Order – By Thomas J. Koester

If ever there were a time to get your house in order, it’s now!

Every generation before us has been born into its own mediocrity and narcissism. But never has there been a generation as indifferent and self-absorbed as the present.

These carcinogenic attitudes have eaten away the underpinnings of the Republic. The Left has split our nation in two, and this was no accident.

We must be the generation that breaks this cycle. We can no longer be bored with complacency or be distracted by consumerism and wokeism. We must shake off the Corporate Mongrals that only see us as algorithms. We must deny them their marketing strategies of profiting from our blood and sweat.

We MUST pull our children from all governmental institutions of indoctrination, known as public schools and universities.

We must break free from the enslavement of debt and instead learn to be independent and live with less so that we can become more. They don’t want us to become more. Their power is in our becoming less human and woefully dependent.

Our greatest hour is quickly approaching – if we are to be the greatest generation, we must wake up from apathy. The ending of our way of living will require more from us than at its beginning. You will become either an Overcomer or a Deceiver. If you cling to the junk in your life, you’ll fall prey to their trickery and deception.

It will be much easier in the darkness as an Overcomer. The Truth already blinds a deceiver; light or darkness means nothing; he’s lost. Overcomers do not stumble in dark times; they are surefooted because Truth guides them and lights up their path.

Overcome your obstacles now. Waiting won’t afford you the time to untangle your bad choices. Correct decisions matter now more than at any other time in American history.

Get your house in order. It will be helpful for you and others that you are clearheaded and not a cluttered mess. In the coming months, you’ll need to act decisively and with purpose. Timing will be crucial and maybe the determinant factor of your survival.

Pray for wisdom, the kind of wisdom that only God the Father can give. You’ll need it to discern right from wrong and to avoid the great delusion that is coming and is already here being broadcasted over the airwaves and internet.

We’re headed into a time when sight won’t matter. Faith must become your eyes. Trusting in God’s Word and His promises will be the only surety left.

You might not be aware, but America has gone bye-bye.

Don’t rely on politics or politicians – We went from a Representative Republic to a Democracy and now to a Communist State, while you had your faces buried in your smartphones.

And now, a few recommendations:

Belief In the empty tomb will surely strengthen you during the time of empty banks.

Absorb the Holy Scriptures so that you may become a beacon of light.

Sweep out all that is unnecessary, as there will be an inspection. God wants you to be sharp, sure, and confident when the collapse begins.

So, get your body, mind, and heart in order, and not just your financial affairs. Unbelievers and doubters are going to need you clearheaded and hopeful.

America is soon to become either Америка or 美国这个名字 or perhaps both.